But the bathroom or the kitchen is what makes the home liveable. Sure, the living room may have a spectacular view and the kind of wet bar only a James Bond villain can claim, the bedroom may feature a baffling variety of marital aids, the hobby room may feature a full-sized steam locomotive under construction, but these belong in other folks' lives.

On the other hand, we all cook and eat and bathe and do the other things too, so kitchens and bathrooms have a claim on us all. They're unduly fascinating. Come on, admit it. That's the first step.

The National Kitchen and Bath Association next weekend is presenting, naturally, "The Great Kitchen and Bath Tour," running 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Oct. 18 at eight different homes on Oahu and five on Maui. These are homes, not executive washrooms, so what you see will be applicable to your own home. The designers will be on hand to explain why they did what they did, from high-tech to low-flush.

The Oahu tour is very East Honolulu -- no homes west of Tantalus -- and admission is $10. A map is provided with the ticket for navigating. Proceeds from the tour will benefit Habitat For Humanity, an organization that improves substandard housing and puts roofs over the heads of the homeless.

Information and tickets available from Judy Dawson at 734-2891, or in the offices of NKBA members.

Just keep your nose out of the medicine cabinets.