WELL, Eddie Maruyama has been named athletic director at Radford High School. Hot dog, Maruyama
is a fresh face at RadfordYou know him as the boyish-looking coach who guided Moanalua to two straight state basketball championships.
You know him as the man who developed flashy guard Ramsey Williams into "Mr. Basketball" of 1997.
But do you really know Maruyama?
Next time you see him, look into his eyes.
Look for the hidden darkness in this man.
This man who, according to his former assistant coaches, would wager hot dog bets and then welch on them.
Yes, you read it right.
A man who found ways to excuse himself from paying wiener debts.
Shocked me, saddened me, and indeed inspired me to write this column.
Coaches, players, teachers must know of this man's modus operandi.
One assistant told me that Maruyama would design a play in practice at Moanalua and announce, "I bet you a hot dog this will work."
His trusting disciples would accept the wager.
The play would fail, and Maruyama would blame the player who missed the shot.
YES, he would point the finger at an innocent youngster under his charge.
His stunned assistants would have to dig into shallow pockets and buy their own hot dogs that day while Maruyama skulked out of the gym, his hot dog wallet still bulging.
Some tell me they saw a smirk on his mustachioed face as he hurried up the hill to the parking lot.
Hot dogs.
Were they worth it, Mr. Maruyama?
You could run but you could not hide from this.
Your former associates have leaked sufficient information about "Hot Dog-gate" to hang you.
One report is that you made sure your Moanalua teams entered unseeded into the two state tournaments you won (1996, 1997) just so that you could spend four days, instead of three, within reach of hot dog vendors and unsuspecting marks.
What sort of man are you, Mr. Maruyama?
Hot dogs.
Two little words that finally ketchup with you.
Hehehe.
A former assistant said you once intercepted him when he was about to purchase a wiener, and you actually paid for it.
You thought you would appease him with your smarmy smile and erase his memory of your mustardly past.
But no, no, Mr. Maruyama.
He who has wagered hot dogs in bad faith can never erase the past.
I am glad I had this opportunity to alert the Radford community to your deception.
Beware the shifty-eyed athletic director lurking near the grill. He's scheming to deprive you of a wiener.
. . . OK. I'm fine now. I just needed to vent some blarney after the grim events of the past few days.
NBA lockout. UH offense in need of a Viagra treatment. St. Louis School's hotel nightmare. And (yawn) another Red Sox boot.
Getting it all out of my system at the expense of Eddie Maruyama, whose sense of humor really outweighs his predilection to hot dogs.
Only the third AD in the history of Radford, Maruyama is a refreshing addition to a growing list of bright local coaches who've moved into administration.
The only thing I regret about seeing people like him, Kaimuki's Ray Fujino, and Waianae's Harry Mitsui become ADs is that they can never coach again.
It's DOE policy, and it's a shame.
Pat Bigold has covered sports for daily newspapers
in Hawaii and Massachusetts since 1978.