ONE of my colleagues turned to me, pointed to the Rainbows down on the field at Aloha Stadium on Saturday night, and said, "That's the worst football team in America." ’Bows look bad,
but they’re not
the worst -- yet"No way," I replied.
Unfortunately, Southern Methodist's 28-0 whipping of Hawaii made it hard for me to prove otherwise. The Rainbows were shut out for the second consecutive game, sending them reeling to an 0-4 start and continuing a school-record losing streak that now extends to 10 in a row.
But the Rainbows couldn't be the worst team in America, could they?
It didn't help when they got only one first down in each of the first two quarters.
And when the Rainbows got their third first down of the game early in the third quarter, the turnstile crowd of 20,967 -- the Rainbows' smallest at Aloha Stadium in 22 years -- actually cheered.
The 'Bows finished with 10 first downs, but who's counting? What counts is scoring touchdowns, and they got zip. Again.
They couldn't even cash in on a gift fumble from the SMU 19 in the third quarter, although UH cornerback Quincy LeJay might disagree. LeJay paid a dear price for it -- he was helped off the field after getting drilled trying to advance the loose ball.
Three plays later, the 'Bows found themselves back at the SMU 22, from where Chad Shrout missed his second field-goal attempt.
HAWAII had only one other opportunity to end its scoring futility at Aloha Stadium. That came after Dan Robinson and Wesley Morris combined on a 48-yard completion in the third quarter.
The 'Bows got to the SMU 15, but a sack and a 15-yard holding penalty stymied the drive, which also ended with a missed FG.
That was as close as the 'Bows came to sniffing the Mustangs' end zone.
Offensively, the Rainbows kept shooting themselves in the foot. One of these days, they're going to run out of toes.
Eleven penalties -- out of carelessness, frustration and lack of concentration -- for a total of 119 yards didn't help. A holding penalty might have cost UH a TD. And on three drives, false starts made it first-and-15 for a team struggling to make first downs.
And oh, did I mention that SMU blocked a punt and returned it for its first touchdown?
The UH defense played well enough to win. But again, it could have sued the offense for nonsupport.
DESPITE the impotent offense, the 'Bows still had a shot at beating SMU, trailing only 14-0 with six minutes remaining. But the Mustangs added two quick scores to make it look good on paper.
One came on a 67-yard burst off right tackle, and the second was a gift.
The Mustangs seemed more than content to end their four-game losing streak with a 21-0 victory. But Hawaii called timeout with 32 seconds left and SMU obliged by tacking on another score.
Not that it mattered. One touchdown would have been enough to beat the punchless 'Bows, who've scored only one touchdown in 12 quarters at home this season.
Worst team in America?
Well, the Rainbows are last in the nation in scoring among the 112 Division I-A teams. But they're 38th in total defense, so that should count for something.
Maybe after Friday night's game at San Diego State they'll lay claim to that dubious distinction. But for now, the worst team has to be 0-5 Cincinnati, which is last in total and scoring defense.
So there.