IT'S time for the name game in college football. Thanks to the Internet, I went through every Division I football roster until I got dot-commed to death. UH’s Houdini can’t
escape name gameI didn't have to go any further than the University of Hawaii to come up with arguably the season's best name: Houdini Jackson.
"As far as I know, I'm the only one in the world with that name," said Jackson, a freshman linebacker who spent the last three years aboard a nuclear submarine stationed at Pearl Harbor.
"There's no story behind it. My mom (Sylvia) was being original. I got teased a lot in elementary school. But as I grew bigger I got teased less. Suddenly, it's real cool."
Joining Houdini on my all-name team:
Peerless Price (Tennessee), Monte Christo (Nebraska), Earthwind Moreland, Ben Gay (LSU), Adonis Peil (Tulsa), Jason Czap (Indiana), Nemessis Bates (LSU), D'Extra Polite (Clemson), Anthony Coaxum (Army), Sirr Parker (Texas A&M), Monsanto Pope (Virginia) and Randy Santa (Eastern Michigan).
There's more, including Amos Zereoue of West Virginia, who has a teammate by the name of Osa Nosa.
SPEED is important in football: Justin Swift (Kansas State), Jimmy Jett (Tulsa ), Joey Goodspeed (Notre Dame), John Quick (San Jose State), Mercury Hall (SMU), Ronnie Rockett (Bucknell). And brains: Ben Bright (Hawaii), Kareem Wise (Missouri), Kirby Smart (Georgia), Sage Spree (Alabama) and Isom Sharp (Arkansas State).
Choose your weapons: Sam Sword (Michigan), Al Blades (Miami), Jason Spear (Indiana), Andre' Cannon (East Carolina), Joe Gunn (Ole Miss) or Tank Williams (Stanford).
A coach's dream team: Champ Bailey (Georgia), Tom Winn (Texas Tech), Wesley Ace (San Diego State), Jay Super (Iowa State), Billy Best (NE Louisiana). Also, Andrew Bender (Baylor), Quentin Jammer (Texas), John Hammer (San Jose State), Kyle Knock (Iowa State).
Can Jackie Robinson (Clemson), Reggie White (Tulsa), Michael Jordan (Tulane) and Neal Colzie (Missouri) live up to their names?
City slickers: Justin Glasgow (Kansas), London McBride (Utah State), Rome Douglas (USC), Paris Long (Ohio State), Phoenix Evans (East Carolina), David Boston (Ohio State), Bryan Cleveland (Northwestern), Christopher Vegas (Army) and Lovell Houston (UCLA).
And country folks: George Brazil (Nevada), Joe Holland (Pittsburgh), Ron Israel (Notre Dame), Dustin Ireland (Air Force), George Germany (Akron), Korey Wales (LSU), Todd France (Toledo).
Automobile row: Dexter Ford (Baylor), Taurus Rucker (Texas Tech), Brandon Nash (Arizona), Kevin Bentley (Northwestern), Mercedes Hamilton (Tennessee), Stockar McDougle (Oklahoma).
GOLF anyone? Jesse Fore (Tulsa), Tony Driver (Notre Dame), Grant Irons (Michigan), Damien Woods (LSU), Tee Martin (Tennessee), Duffer Duffy (Ohio), Sam Hooks (Texas Tech), Doug Shanks (TCU), Fade Bouras (UTEP).
You'll hear a lot this season from Nevada's Jeff Noisy, while San Jose State's Waking Bailey is a real sleeper. Will TCU's Derek Canine dog it? Who else would Shane Wagers play for but Nevada-Las Vegas.
Nothing fishy about Arizona's Dolphin Tillman because that's also his dad's name. For the birds: Phil Hawk (Miami, Ohio), Lute Crow (SMU), Pat Pidgeon (Penn State) and Canary Knight (Alabama).
There's no boy named Sue, but there is a Joe Gal at Illinois. Dustin Hoffman plays for Tulsa. George Harp and Amadeo Viola hope to make beautiful music for San Jose State.
Team physician is Terry Doctor (Bethune-Cookman). In charge of media relations is Butch Printup (Eastern Kentucky).
The water boy? Tanqueray Clark (USC).