IT was one of the worst days of my life. I had broken my leg the night before and was ordered by my doctor to sit with the leg elevated and not move for anything. So I was on my recliner watching "Sesame Street" with my grandson Corwin. My leg felt like it was going to burst out of the cast. People should
cut the vicious
hyperboleMy wife and daughter asked me what I wanted for dinner and went out to get it. Very sweet, except that they left the TV on and "Sesame Street" soon turned to "Barney."
That's when my misery turned to outright torture. As the cloying purple dinosaur pranced around singing his insipid songs, the crushing pain moved from my leg to my head.
I was helpless. I had no remote control. I couldn't get up to turn off the TV. I looked for something to throw through the screen, but there was nothing heavy enough within reach. My mental equilibrium never really recovered.
Until a court last week threw out Barney's lawsuit against the San Diego Chicken trying to stop the chicken from using Barney as a punching bag in his act at sporting events.
The court ruled that the chicken had a First Amendment right - I would call it an obligation - to express his contempt for the overstuffed creature.
I wondered why Barney's creators would bother filing such a laughable lawsuit. A more appropriate way to get even - and possibly win some respect for their wimpy tyrannosaurus - would have been to have Barney fricassee the chicken on national TV. But we're so surrounded by hype that we've lost all ability to respond in proportion to the offense.
Somebody makes a little joke at our expense and we sue. Somebody disagrees with our views and we nuke 'em with vicious hyperbole. We're confronted with our own shortcomings and we hurl blame at others like Molotov cocktails. Barney was just one example in the news.
One fellow became incensed when Prosecutor Peter Carlisle wouldn't buy killer Frank Janto's story that he was a victim of society. The writer called Carlisle "as callous, cold-blooded and mean-spirited" as Janto.
Right. Janto got hopped up on drugs, confronted a helpless woman in the night, beat her to death by pounding her head into the pavement and threw her body into a dumpster to be incinerated. All Carlisle did was vigorously prosecute the crime. Does that really make him a product of the same gene pool as Janto?
Proportion.
Another fellow took issue with Corky's cartoon criticizing Israel's stand on the West Bank. Never mind that our editorial pages abound with columnists supporting Israel down the line. Corky's one little voice of dissent couldn't be tolerated.
THE writer demanded I change my name so my Jewish moniker would no longer be associated with Corky's "nasty views."
"The most embarrassment you have caused is when I have to explain to my visiting grandchildren why a Shapiro is doing the work usually reserved for our enemies," he wrote.
Good grief. Cut me some proportion.
And then there's UH football coach Fred vonAppen's annual summer whine to prepare fans for another lousy season that's everybody's fault but his. This year, he blames fans who don't buy enough tickets and an athletic department that lacks vision.
The coach says the very future of Division I football in Hawaii is at stake. Others have picked up on the theme and questioned whether we really need Division I football.
That's certainly one way to deal with tough times - just give up. But I have a better idea.
Proportion.
David Shapiro is managing editor of the Star-Bulletin.
He can be reached by e-mail at editor@starbulletin.com.
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