Fans conspire
By Kenneth Nishiguchi
to keep
'X-Files' goingIT is a sad day in America when a good family movie like "The X-Files" does not receive the welcome it deserves. It became a quickly forgotten "who dat?" film. It got slaughtered by, what else? ... "Mulan"! I love Disney but the company could have shown some respect and avoid opening so close to "The X-Files" run.
I had been counting the weeks until "The X-Files" premiere. The movie and TV series creator Chris Carter and his staff worked like dogs to pull this off. The primary intent of the film was to reward devoted fans of the series.
Making the film gave actors David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson the opportunity to expand their careers, but I warn them: You probably want to be known for more than just being agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. But, please, do not leave a good thing. If you ever quit the show I'll be forced to burn all of my "X-Files" tapes. Not to be egotistical, but think about it. Fans can make or break careers in a heartbeat.
David, to give an example, I tried like hell to get everyone I know to see your other critically panned movie "Playing God," to no avail. But on "The X-Files" your efforts are appreciated.
What you, Anderson, the Fox network and Carter have is almost magical. For the past five years or so, you kept our asses Krazy-glued to our couches. Most networks would murder for shows that could do that.
David and Gillian, you two spice up the series with your charisma and charm. I ain't no psychic but I speak with confidence when I say that 99.9 percent of devoted fans probably do not want Jerry Seinfeld cast as Mulder, or God forbid, Fran Drescher as Scully. Yuck!
I define a "devoted fan" as being anyone who has watched "The X-Files" for more than one season and who has forsaken life in general to tune in every Sunday night. We also hop on the Internet to share our passions and disgusts. Our web pages are no mere sites, they are holy shrines. Ryan's X-Files review site at www.amaroq.com/x-files is definitely worth a couple of cheesy poofs!
We fans make our VCRs work overtime to capture every episode. We can build our holy shrines faster than you can pick your nose, so don't mess with us.
We can understand David and Gillian, that the show's success have pinned you two into a corner, but don't get stupid about it. Please don't do porno. I beg you.
Porno didn't help that blonde from "Saved by the Bell" when she did "Showgirls." Porno didn't help Pee-Wee Herman. Hmmm, porno did help the caricature Markie Mark turn into the human being Mark Wahlberg in "Boogie Nights." The devil works in strange ways.
Uh oh, my hard drive is smoking now. You win, Cancer Man!
Kenneth Nishiguchi is a 1996 Kalani graduate. Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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