HAWAII residents cannot agree on what the best flavor of shave ice is, but most think anyone caught spray-painting graffiti should be sent to Kahoolawe and forced to dig up live ordnance. Hawaii poll shines
lite on issuesThose are just a couple of the chilling results of the Honolulu Lite "Life in Hawaii Poll," the first in-depth, comprehensive effort to gauge public sentiment on many of the most complex and controversial issues of the day.
The poll questions were distributed via a fairly large daily newspaper to thousands and thousands and thousands (and thousands) of island residents. Of those, only the most well-informed, intelligent and sensitive residents answered the poll and returned it via uniformed government couriers (i.e., U.S. Postal Service) or by the latest technical communication methods (i.e., e-mail). This select group of respondents (roughly 10 individuals) represented a broad cross-section of cultures, genders, faiths, sexual orientation and hair styles. The poll has a margin of error of about 80- to- 88 percent, compared to a margin of error of a measly 4 percent for traditional polls. In other words, you can take the result of this poll to the bank, but they probably won't cash it.
We will cover half of the poll today. The results of the other half will be published Friday.
The question that proved the most divisive, not surprisingly, involved an issue close to many Hawaii residents' hearts: What is your favorite flavor of shave ice? Twenty percent, the largest margin, chose "rainbow." Others were evenly divided among strawberry, grape, cherry, lemon, root beer and Budweiser.
There was more agreement on the next two questions. Ninety percent of Hawaii residents believe there should be lifeguards not only at island beaches, but at major intersections, parking lots and certain lunch wagons. While the cost of deploying life guards at heavily trafficked intersections might seem high, saving just one person from drowning in a pile-up at King and South streets would be worth it.
Ninety percent of residents also agreed that Kaaawa has "way too many a's in its name." This is not really news. Everyone talks about vowel abuse, but nobody does anything about it.
Now, taking no position on the political correctness of whether whale meat should be consumed by humans, the poll asked how such meat should be prepared. Twenty percent said boiled, 20 percent said raw (super sashimi-style) and 10 percent said "grilled at a University of Hawaii football game tailgate party."
Bishop Estate continues to be a controversial issue. Half the respondents agreed that the estate should pay everyone in Hawaii $10. Ten percent said it should pay everyone $100.
Likewise, the question, "Which native fruit rules?" brought a diversity of opinion. Aside from the unpublishable answers involving tasteless sexual invective, the vote was split evenly among papaya, passion fruit, mango, Spam and Loco Moco.
But everyone was back together on what to do with graffiti artists. They should be made to clear live military ordance (bombs) from Kahoolawe, preferably with their teeth.
The Big Island of Hawaii has always been confusing to visitors, who don't know whether to call it Hawaii, the Big Island, or what. Clearly something needs to be done. A surprising 50 percent of residents think it ought to be called "Volcano World." Ten percent voted for "Really Big Island." And, in light of the numerous traffic accidents on those long stretches of highway, 10 percent suggested the name should be "Caution, Don't Cross Center Line."
(Friday: Bombing Pearl Harbor was "really mean.")
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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