I was watching "Ally McBeal," the quirky television show about a ditzy lawyer and the dysfunctional law firm that employs her, when I suddenly broke the code as to what is powering TV programming these days. TV going down
a blind ‘Ally’If you like Ally McBeal, you might not want to read further because once I tell you the secret to that show's success, it just might ruin it for you. And it's not the computerized dancing baby.
As strange as this might sound, to understand why "Ally McBeal" is a success, you have to look at "South Park."
If you've been living in a cave (or under Beavis and Butthead's couch) for the past year, "South Park" is the shockingly vulgar "cartoon" where kids say the darndest things. In fact, if "South Park" kids were on Art Linkletter's "Kids Say The Darndest Things" show, Art would have committed the darndest homicides. Art would have, in fact, killed Kenny, the little "South Park" chap who actually does get killed on every episode.
AND as shocking as having a kid knocked off weekly may seem, that has become one of the tamer parts of "South Park." They do and say things on "South Park" that I would be fired for if I put them in this column. (Editors have the darndest hang-ups.)
In short, the kids on "South Park" make Beavis and Butthead look like the spawn of Ozzie and Harriet. While Beavis and Butthead may have set the profane tone for future adult-themed "cartoons," "South Park" has claimed the far ground of tastelessness, busting societal taboos faster than you, well, faster than you can come up with new taboos. Without being too graphic, I think I can safely say that the only taboos left for "South Park" are necrophilia and cannibalism. I'm not a regular watcher of "South Park," so they might have already zoomed right past those subjects and gone to Kenny-knows-where.
What does "South Park" have to do with "Ally McBeal," a show full of grown-ups trying to cope with the rigors of professional life, sex and large Latin phrases? Everything.
See, aside from the adult situations that are addressed on "Ally," all the characters actually are written as if they are children. The writers simply think of each character as being about 5 or 6 years old and write their lines and reactions accordingly. The characters are actually legal rugrats practicing sandbox law.
That's why, in one episode, when a guy Ally likes says he never kisses girls on the first date, Ally says she always kisses everyone on the first date. Then they can get right to the breaking up. How many times have you seen some kid in a sandbox trying to kiss all the girls (or boys.)
This leads to the "Ally" characters' peculiar innocence.
On the other hand, the cardboard cut-out kids of "South Park" talk and act like adults. But because they are cartoons, they get away with it. If any of the adults on "Ally McBeal" said half the things the kids say on "South Park," they'd be jailed.
And that's the secret to programming these days. You have cartoons like "South Park," "Rugrats" and "Beavis and Butthead," where the kids talk like adults. And you have adult dramas where the characters are actually children.
I'm not sure where all this is going to lead. "South Park" has got to hit the ultimate taboo wall eventually. And "Ally" viewers are going to wise up to the trick behind the clever writing. As it is, Ally does everything but say "goo-goo, gah-gah" when faced with a problem.
I suspect because of the circular nature of TV programming, we'll soon be back to prime time game shows and talking horses. I just hope Mr. Ed doesn't feel compelled to kill Wilbur eac
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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