IT would be a tad ironic if Hawaii's tourist industry, which has been, in a somewhat sexual metaphorical sense, ravished by the pitiful Asian financial markets, found itself revitalized and uplifted by a wave of Japanese tourists coming here to buy the new erection drug Viagra. Viagra tours a potent
idea for HawaiiI'm sure it is just coincidence that this newspaper carried a front-page headline yesterday saying "Tourism Up" just days after it was learned that a travel agency actually has begun organizing Viagra tours to the islands.
In fact, mainland tourists are responsible for inflating the visitor statistics. The Asian tourist market remains flaccid, down nearly 10 percent from last year.
When your state depends on tourists, size does matter. Not the size of individual tourists but the size of groups and tours. And this definitely is a part of the market with growth potential.
As I reported previously, Viagra is a touchy subject, so to speak. It's the wonder drug of the ages that makes old men young, young men younger and apparently has curious effects on women, to boot.
It's not available in Japan yet, which has led to the sudden surprising substratum of tourism, Japanese men willing to spend hundreds of dollars to come to Hawaii to secure a maximum of two bottles of potent pills.
There is no telling when this phenomenon will peak or how long it can be sustained, but it is in the interest of Hawaii to project itself as the international street dealer of Viagra.
If history serves, this window of opportunity may be short-lived. Despite Japan's well-known record of taking existing foreign technology and making it smaller and cheaper, that pattern probably will not hold in the case of Viagra. We aren't talking automobiles and transistor radios here. But it won't be long before Viagra is either being sold in Japan or Japanese reverse drug engineers have figured out how to make their own. We will be facing stiff competition.
Hawaii tour agencies need to stand and be counted now. The first agency to organize Viagra tours is Flight More, which already has brought men with big dreams to Hawaii. First is good, but we need to be a lot more creative if this Viagra tour thing is really going to save Hawaii's economic okole.
We are going to need a few catchy ideas to help develop this new trend. Here are some:
Magnum Force Tours. Has your pistol been in your holster too long, partner? You'll be feeling as tall as Clint Eastwood when you take the Magnum Force Tour. You just have to ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky today? With Magnum, you'll return home fully loaded and ready to make someone's day.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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