Our readers say
Star-Bulletin
‘Sayonara Seinfeld’
It seems a small thing to complain about -- nothing, really, which makes sense for a show about nothing -- but most of the 50-plus entrants in our "Sayonara Seinfeld" contest squawked about having to sum up their creative vision for the show's last show in 25 words or less.
"Twenty-five words -- it's a bitch," said Donn V. Tyler, 58, who still snagged first place.
"It's an old editor's trick to keep people from going on and on and on," said our old editor. "And they will if you let them."
OK, most people ran over the limit by a few words. But most were short and punchy, just like a good joke. Tyler, an "old radio guy," loves the "incongruity and the dysfunctional interaction of the characters." His suggested ending:
Jerry's injured; everyone rushes to the hospital. He dies, and after a moment, Elaine stands.
"Y'up for a movie?"
Kramer says, "Yeah, OK, sure."
They leave.
The kicker is that the opening scenes of 'ER,' which follows on NBC, show them zipping Seinfeld into a body bag and wheeling him off.
Second-placer Celise Nakakura, 29, an insurance-claims person, says, "I get a kick out of watching them screw up their lives, and I have that same wry sense of humor."
Her suggestions:
Jerry and Newman are brothers.
Elaine and Puddy elope in Vegas, divorce two hours later.
George wins McDonald's Monopoly game.
Kramer becomes Spam spokesmodel.
Only Randy Hiraki, 33, a civil engineer, crafted a completely local scenario. "I like the way the show pokes fun at everybody and everything in everyday life," said Hiraki.
Hiraki's Hawaiian fade-out:
George starts the Waianae diet.
Kramer and Newman find poi and open a niteclub featuring poi wrestling.
Elaine steps on an opihi shell and creates another outrageous dance.
Jerry looks into the camera, raises his glass of guava juice and says, "Aloha means GOODBYE!"
Each winner scores some sort of Seinfeld headwear. It's not a puffy shirt, but hey, not that there's anything wrong with that.
