View Point

Saturday, May 9, 1998

Mother’s Day is time
to thank mentors

By Caroline Dvojacki

TOMORROW is Mother's Day, a day mandated by society to have us do something that should be done as a matter of course. All thinking societies and religions have guidelines for the care of our parents and elders. It is right to honor those who nurture each of us and the community at large.

Mother's Day. As my grandmother says, "The government set this day aside so you can ignore the poor dear the rest of the year!"

In our family, flowers or leis are given to our mother on the day of our birth. This way with five children she is acknowledged all year round and especially (as any mom can tell you) on the personal anniversary of a miracle.

These days, however, Mother's Day represents something else that's special to me. It's a time when I am drawn to think about people who have influenced me, taught me by example or even mentored me directly.

I remember the giving women I was named for: Caroline Bond of Kohala and Caroline Curtis of Honolulu. The legacy of each name has inspired me to give back to my community.

For example, Grandmother Bond taught me to watch people and to learn from them. She is one of my heroes.

There are people who exhibit grace under pressure and keep going with their respective projects: Joan Naguwa, Emmy Seymour, Susan Spangler, Sam Cooke, Carol Schaafsma, Naomi Carter, Randy Moore, Eleanor Pence, Tom Mitrano, Karen Knudsen, Sally Lyles.

There are people who have seen a need and taken on a challenge: Lynne Johnson, Sarah Richards, Lynda Ryan, Mary Cooke, Irmgard Hormann, Mary Mae Bond, Agnes Conrad, Mary Gaber, Caroline Spencer.

There are brave people who have listened to their inner voices and proceeded with their destinies in ways that Hawaii will enjoy for generations: Momi Lum, Martha McDaniel, Lorin Gill, Lee Wild, Susan Miller, Richard Davis, Helen Torricer, Wade McVay.

I have been inspired by people who have gone through horrible personal trauma and keep on giving: Nalani Olds, Jane Smith, Kit and Margie Smith, Iris Wiley, Donna Grain, Marilyn Bornhorst, Dorothy Baranski, Betty Dowdle, Grace Dixon.

Then there are those who take on a steady volunteer commitment week after week, year after year, and we only see the benefit from them:

Helping endangered plants grow under propagation.

Visiting and cheering the homebound.

Mentoring children, serving as their positive role models and providing library programs and books.

Volunteering for the Friends of the Library, which packs 3,000 boxes of books a year.

Volunteering at the Lyon Arboretum Association or Computers for Kids project.

Reading to children in schools or serving as tutors.

Being sports coaches, Girl and Boy Scout leaders, volunteer docents at the Honolulu Academy of Arts and other museums, or hospital volunteers.

These people are legion and are often missed in the day-to-day shuffle and media hype. I watch them and admire their personal determination and dedication to an ideal or goal that improves the quality of life for so many. Each is an inspiration.

THE individuals named in this column are living now and are giving actively to the community. But there are many more silent heroes.

That is why, around each Mother's Day, I write "Mentor's Day" notes to people who have given me standards of behavior to admire. This helps, as it lets them know how much they mean to us.

I know that there are who I haven't mentioned, and I am sure that anyone who reads this will have a list of his or her own.

May I suggest taking the time to acknowledge the people in your life, who have given you an example to follow or who have inspired you? Let them know.

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Caroline B. Dvojacki is a community volunteer who lives in Kaneohe.