NOW it can be told: I turned down a chance to judge the Miss Universe Pageant and, in hindsight, I'm glad it worked out that way. When the offer came initially, though, regal indecision reigned. Meeting the
Miss Universe wannabes"Are you crazy?" my liberated side raged. "You've written commentary deriding these charades as demeaning to women and detrimental to gender equality. Readers will call you a hypocrite. You're supposed to comment on the news, not participate in it. And think of all the time and effort this is going to take. Just say no."
"What a scoop!" my professional persona retorted. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime gig to experience all this hoopla, from behind the scenes. Don't you want to learn through personal interviews what drives these contestants in their rabid quest for a crown? You can prevent a gorgeous nitwit from winning the title. Accept, you fool!"
Yes, no, yes, no. Then finally, thanks but no thanks. But that didn't mean I wouldn't get to grill the gals gunning for the Miss Universe title. On Tuesday night, along with other community representatives, I noshed with the 81 young lovelies and started a spirited debate at my table during a formal state dinner at Washington Place.
At 8 p.m., Ben and Vicky Cayetano were all decked out and waiting outside for the guests of honor. "I should be at the Capitol. My (economic) plan is being shredded right now," the governor remarked nervously.
When the buses finally rolled in, it was like watching a dress rehearsal of the evening gown competition. From Miss Angola to Miss Zimbabwe, each dolled-up delegate was escorted along the flag-lined front walkway to greet the Cayetanos and pose for pictures.
Once seated, it was time to make polite chitchat except for me, that is. Maybe I wasn't going to interrogate these Miss Universe hopefuls during the interview phase, but that certainly didn't dispel my curiosity about these throwbacks in a feminist world. So I began asking questions like:
"How does it make you feel that, by participating in this kind of beauty pageant, you are teaching impressionable young girls to be dissatisfied with the way they look?"
YOU can imagine the vocal fisticuffs that followed. We had the loudest, most animated table at the gala, I'm proud to say, and some of the delegates were no wimps when it came to defending their rationale for running.
To paraphrase, their views came down to this: The ultimate goal is not to become Miss Universe, because each is already a winner in her individual quest for excellence. She is striving for a combination of intelligence, aloha, grace, ambition and dazzle that emanates from within. This is a growing experience, a chance to be an ambassador for one's country and a positive role model, an opportunity to literally make a difference in the world.
In other words, if ya got it, flaunt it. The chutzpah was impressive.
Then, it hit me the best reason for turning down the judge's job in Miss Universe. I was right to refuse, because who are any of us to decide who is the most anything on this planet? How can we so stupidly forget that, in our own travails for mere mortal perfection, each of us has come a long way, baby.
Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
DianeChang@aol.com, or by fax at 523-7863.