NOW that 90 percent of the punks are out of the NBA playoffs, it's time for the men to get down to business. The Bulls have
what it takes—MikeThe first round of the annual two-month parade to the finals usually offers few surprises. This year was no exception.
The most entertaining event in the first round was the "fight" between Alonzo Mourning and Larry Johnson.
I counted. Six punches thrown, none landed. What in the name of Eric Lindros was going on?
Mourning and Johnson have hated each other since their college days at Georgetown and UNLV. How the two ever peacefully coexisted in Charlotte long enough to share the ball is one of the wonders of the decade.
The most laughable item out of the whole thing, however -- other than seeing Jeff Van Gundy wrapped around Mourning's ankle like the Taco Bell chihuahua, of course -- was hearing Pat Riley accuse the Knicks of playing dirty.
That's rich, Pat, really. As they say in Miami, "Oy, the Heat."
The Knicks are a team whose identity was forged by Riley himself before Mickey Arison handed Pat part of the team and a fistful of loot to boot.
If Arison hadn't invested so much money in Riley, the Heat's majority owner might be looking longingly at Phil Jackson right about now.
IT was Riley who spent a ton of money on Mourning, who is possibly the most overrated player in the league. He further doomed the Heat by trading backup center Ike Austin to the Clippers for guard Brent Barry, who wasn't even eligible for the series against the Knicks.
You think Austin might have come in handy when Mourning got suspended for Game 5?
All that said, the Pacers should take care of the Knicks. Indiana's depth is too great for New York and Larry Bird is as good a coach as there is in the league. So it's the Hicks over the Knicks in six.
Elsewhere in the East, forget it. Michael and the Bulls are simply too good for the Hornets. If that series lasts more than five games, I'll style Paul Arnett's hair.
As for the Eastern Conference finals, the Pacers might stretch Chicago to six games, but that's as far as they'll go.
In the West, the Lakers are great at talking a big game. Shaquille O'Neal went so far as to say, "I own Sabonis," after Los Angeles beat Portland.
Yeah. And I own a rusted out Mazda pickup. Big deal.
O'Neal's great at dominating stiff white guys like Arvydas Sabonis, but the Lakers are the youngest team left and that doesn't bode well. Remember, the playoffs belong to the men, not the boys.
The Sonics had the fear of God put in them by the Timberweeds, but they have too much big-game experience for the Lakers. Gary Payton is the second-best guard in the league -- behind that No. 23 guy for the Bulls -- and the rest of the Sonics' roster is filled with players who have been there, done that.
WHEN it's playoff time, I'll take Payton over Derek Fisher and/or Nick Van Exel. I'll even take Hersey Hawkins over Kobe Bryant.
Shaq has been putting up big numbers, but it won't be enough. Again. Sonics in six.
The most intriguing series of all is the Jazz and the Spurs.
San Antonio presents matchup problems for every team in the league. Do you double-team David Robinson and leave Tim Duncan to go one-on-one? Do you double-team Duncan and let Robinson go it alone?
The Jazz have a big advantage in the backcourt, though, with John Stockton and Jeff Hornacek clearly better than Avery Johnson and Vinnie Del Negro, and that will make all the difference. Jazz in six, maybe even five.
I like the Sonics and the Jazz, and I guess for the sake of this column I'll take the Sonics.
But the winner of the West is only playing for second best because when everything shakes out, this fact matters most:
The Bulls have Mike. In five.