

MEMO to the Hawaii Visitors and Convention Bureau: As Deep Throat used to say, follow the money, fellas. Pssst HVCB:
Follow the moneyDid you see the story in the paper last week about the residents of a little Montana town who are about to receive a huge financial windfall?
Here's the deal: About 1,000 workers from an aluminum factory in Columbia Falls, Mont., will be dividing $97 million as a result of a profit-sharing lawsuit. Ninety-seven million smackers, fellas.
Now, does this give you any ideas? Let me help you out. You should immediately assign one of your crack tourism honchos to "Project Columbia Falls."
The goal would be to try to snag as much of that $97 million for Hawaii as possible. How? First of all, pick up the phone and place a full-page advertisement in the Columbia Falls newspaper suggesting to the soon-to-be-cash-happy residents that the best way to celebrate their new wealth would be a trip to Hawaii. Sure, some of them are going to blow their money on pickup trucks and double-wide trailers.
But you've got to remember, they're still half-frozen from one of those patented bone-jarring, El Nino-inspired, ice-age Montana winters. I'm sure some of them could be convinced to come to Hawaii to thaw out and bring some of that cold, hard cash with them.
Look, we can't just sit around here wringing our hands and complaining about the collapse of the Japanese economy and the impact it is having on our tourist market. Come on, guys. Has your "get up and go" gotten up and left?
THINK creatively. I'm sure you could convince many Hawaii tour operators, hotels, restaurants and other tourist-dependent businesses to band together to offer Columbia Falls residents some enticement to come to the islands. How about a television and radio promotion giving away a couple of free trips to Hawaii. Let them know that in less than 12 hours they can be digging their little toes in the nice warm sands of Waikiki and sipping mai tais.
How about this: Send a delegation to Columbia Falls right now and throw a town-wide luau. Hawaiian Airlines might even dispatch a charter jet for the project. Fill it with entertainers, food, flowers ... everything you'll need to throw a luau. Not only would it probably entice some of the Montanans to come to Hawaii, the resulting publicity will probably draw tourists from all over that part of the country.
"Project Columbia Falls" could just be the beginning of a completely new marketing strategy: going where the money is. Japan is on its financial knees but the economy on the mainland United States is jumping for joy.
You need to immediately form a HVCB SWAT (Seek Well-heeled American Tourists) Team. Team members should search for specific pockets of economic prosperity on the mainland and launch promotional surgical strikes designed to get those buggers to the islands.
This isn't brain surgery, guys. It takes money to travel. People are making so much money on the mainland that the Dow Jones is more giddy than Bill Clinton after the Paula Jones ruling. Find those people with money and get them to bring it to Hawaii.
I'm helping you out here for free. I've put you on the scent of $97 million and you didn't even have to leave your office. Now, get with it. Scour the mainland papers and the television news channels for evidence of rampant wealth and then swoop in like a Tenacious Tourist Pterodactyl, grab up your prey and wing them back here.
We're not talking massive million-dollar national campaigns. Think small and aggressive. Think quick and agile. Think money.
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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