Changing Hawaii

By Diane Yukihiro Chang

Monday, March 30, 1998

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When bureaucrats block
requests for data

RESPONSIVE government can make even the grumpiest taxpayer break into a smile. Experiencing efficient service, courteous answers and a can-do attitude on the part of public-sector workers is like that movie title, "As Good As It Gets."

As Bad As It Gets is when a bona fide appeal for government data -- facts and stats gathered on behalf of the public and funded by tax dollars -- is answered by the shameless run-around, which is why the state Office of Information Practices is so vital.

The Poynter Institute wants to help, too. The Florida journalism training center has come up with "The Top 38 Excuses Government Agencies Give For Not Being Able to Fulfill Your Request (And Suggestions on What You Should Say or Do)."

Here's the scene. A reporter or private citizen walks into a county, state or federal office and wants a compilation of data known to be public record, but is stymied by The Stall (in boldface, below). What follows are some of the delicious responses offered up by the Poynter Seminar Group Project in Computer Assisted Journalism, comebacks that should certainly give the offending bureaucrat a swift reality check:

"We don't know how to do that."

Let me show you how.

Then who DOES know how to do it?

"It's too late in the day to do that."

What time do you open tomorrow?

"It takes too long."

How long do you think it's going to take?

That's OK, I'll be happy to wait.

"The person who knows how to do that is on vacation for two weeks/doesn't work here anymore."

So how are you doing your work?

What would you do if the governor asked for it?

"We've never done that before."

We'll be gentle.

I'll still respect you.

"We won't give you the records. You might use it as a mailing list."

Show me the statute that says we can't use the data any way we want to.

I swear I won't.

"Our compilation is not public record."

Show me the statute that says the compilation isn't a public record.

See you in court.

"We'll have to get approval from each agency that contributed data."

Well, then, I won't keep you. Let me know when you've got them all.

"We don't like what you plan to do with it."

Tell me why that's your business?

Tough.

"There are confidential records mixed in."

Then take them out.

"We don't keep our data that way."

How DO you keep your data?

That's OK, just give us what you've got.

"We don't think you'll understand the data/technology. You'll mess it up."

Yes I do. No I won't.

That's kind of you to worry, but don't.

I'll be sure to call if I have any problems.

"You don't have the equipment to handle it."

Yes, I do.

My consultant does.

"The computer can't make files."

Then it must not be a computer.

How do you store your data?

"If we give it to you, we'll have to give it to everyone."

Well, everyone has a right to it.

What's your point?