THE girls and women gathered at the Kokokahi YWCA meeting room this past Sunday afternoon had empowerment on the mind. Half of them had already been the targets of burglaries or assaults by strangers, while the other half wanted to avoid becoming HPD crime statistics themselves. Avoiding the fate
of being a crime victimSo they listened intently at the three-hour "Refuse To Be A Victim" public seminar taught by Cheryl Kohashi Domzalski, a 42-year-old Kaneohe resident who learned her own lesson the unforgettable way.
Late one night, after hours of library research at the UH-Manoa campus, Cheryl walked alone to her car in the mostly empty parking structure. As she fumbled for her keys, someone grabbed her from behind and started dragging her toward the stairwell.
Incessant screaming, kicking and flailing helped her to escape. But Cheryl was so traumatized by the attack that she vowed never again to be in such a vulnerable position. "Instead of living in fear for the rest of my life, I decided to arm myself and others with information that could help them, their family and their friends," she said.
So last September, the spunky independent travel consultant brought the national program known as "Refuse To Be A Victim" to the islands.
Since then, the trained and certified safety instructor has been holding seminars and corporate/group presentations on Oahu. (The next two public meetings are on March 19 at the YWCA of Oahu on Richards Street, and March 21 at Wahiawa Elementary on Glen Avenue. Call 288-2911 for details.)
For a nominal $30 fee ($25 for accompanying spouse/partner), an attendee can glean invaluable information about personal safety. Topics include:
Areas of vulnerability in day-to-day living.
At Sunday's Windward class, the females in the audience absorbed what Cheryl imparted. The women scribbled notes, asked questions and shared their own encounters with hooligans. (One was attacked in her outdoor Liliha parking lot, in mid-morning, as parents walked their kids to school just a few feet away.) Three teens bound for a Disneyland trip during spring break were especially attentive during the travel security part of the talk.
I asked what to do when a van is parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, with suspicious-looking folks inside. Cheryl's answer: Get in the passenger side of your car, scoot over and drive away, with the doors locked. Gee, I thought, make "A."
BETTER embarrassed than sorry, Cheryl explained, and I immediately realized the problem with women -- we are much too polite.
We don't speak up enough when our comfort zone is invaded. We're too tired and inattentive from attempting to be Superwoman. We naively think bad things only happen to other people. And we don't have a "personal safety strategy" in place before we need it.
Not anymore, pal. Thanks to classes like Cheryl's, the so-called weaker sex is getting stronger and more akamai. We are choosing to refuse. No more being a victim!
We are just saying no to dregs.