By Craig T. Kojima, Star-Bulletin
Your Boyfriend in-a-Box contains a profile, photo for your
wallet, even phone messages to leave around to fool your friends.
You'll never have to wash his socks. He never says, "I hate chicken," when you have one roasting in the oven, and he will never leave hairy shaving-cream residue in the sink ... perfect guy, right? Find your perfect man—
in a boxWait! It gets even better. What if I told you he earns $1.2 mil a year, drives a red BMW, wants to settle down and is up for grabs?
His name is Maxwell Benjamin aka Millionaire Max and he's perfect because, well, he's not real. He's one of seven "Boyfriend in-a-Box" novelty beau available at Liberty House's stationery and notions section.
The box comes with telephone messages and notecards from your guy that say "I'm thinking of you," and the requisite, "I'm sorry." (Real men better be taking notes.)
A bio and prompt cards have answers for inquiring minds. For instance, Athletic Al grew up in San Jose, Calif., enjoys Mexican and Southern cuisine, owns a cat named Scratch and dislikes people who whine. Doctor David Matthew, a family practitioner, is a Virgo who is into wine and jazz, who dislikes yard work, beepers and cell phones.
There are also 5-by-7 and wallet-size photos for boasting purposes. I hate to be superficial, but some of the men are not especially good-looking. They're rather generic, with not a surfer dude hunk in the bunch, but how can anyone complain about a man who's gainfully employed and low-maintenance, who will never embarrass his girlfriend in public and comes with a warranty?
The boyfriends sell for $13.50 at Liberty House. Choose from Firefighter Frank, Self-Made Stan, Athletic Al, Cowboy Clint, Corporate Craig or Doctor Dave. The store was out of Musical Miles.
That figures. In fantasy, as in real-life, the musician always gets the girls.
Nadine Kam, Star-Bulletin
