I was cruising through the paper the other day and was arrested by a quote my colleague Diane Chang attributed to Donald Trump. Trump and Clinton:
North and South"You know, it doesn't really matter what (the media) write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass," Trump said.
I've heard the quote before. I think Trump said it around the time he was catching criticism for dumping his wife Ivana for the younger Marla Maples.
Diane thought Trump is getting his comeuppance because he's now embroiled in a divorce from Marla. But she missed the point. Marla is no longer the young lovely of Trump's earlier description. He can afford the divorce and likely has an even younger and more beautiful piece of business wrapped around his arm.
What scared me was when I read the quote to my wife Maggie, trying to get a rise out of her, and she wholeheartedly approved of what Trump said. I was afraid to press the issue for several days, but finally had to ask her what she could have possibly liked about it. Alas, it wasn't the part about the young and beautiful piece of okole.
"I like that he knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say so," she said. "I like that he doesn't care how the media judge him. He's absolutely right. How many years have I been telling you that I don't care what the media in general, and you in particular, say or think?
"I must admit, though, that I don't care for Trump's bushy eyebrows," she said.
That's when it struck me that what Trump said is more than a glib line. It's an increasingly accepted philosophy of life. And before women get riled up, remember that actress Katherine Hepburn got there way ahead of Trump. She defended her decision to remain unattached and play the field by wondering why any woman would "sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one."
Most of us are not rich, famous, good-looking or inclined enough to regularly upgrade our sexual playmates with younger and better-equipped models. So we doggedly seek out our one true soul mate and spend the rest of our lives trying to make the relationship work.
And it's a darn good thing, too. Somebody has to behave responsibly if our society and our species are to survive.
But most of us don't seem to resent those who practice the Trump and Hepburn ethic. The feeling seems to be that if you can get it, go for it. Being judgmental of others isn't cool.
Our obsession with the sex lives of the rich and famous have made the purveyors of trashy tabloids, racy "infotainment" news programs and cheesy daytime talk shows rich and famous themselves.
Our favorite TV shows feature the most casual sex. On "Seinfeld," Elaine gives pal Jerry a half-hour bedroom tumble to settle an argument about his prowess. On "Beverly Hills 90210," writers have achieved every imaginable cast coupling.
IS it any wonder that we're so accepting of President Clinton's compulsive pursuit of young and beautiful pieces of sexual gratification? He's just a man of his times.
If you think about it, the only real difference between Clinton and Trump is that the president's professional survival instinct compels him to deny his escapades while Trump enjoys boasting about his.
Well, that and the curious geographic anomaly. Trump, the consummate Yankee, celebrates the southern sector of the female anatomy. Clinton, a son of the South, prefers to take his pleasure from the northern end. What will Rikki Lake make of that?