The Weekly Eater

By Nadine Kam
Star-Bulletin

Thursday, February 12, 1998

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Feed your love
with a mix of meals

AROUND Valentine's Day, people ask, "What is the most romantic restaurant?" The answer is subjective, of course. With a little chemistry, a couple doesn't need candlelight and violins.

Why, the love of my life took me to Kapiolani Grill on one of our first dates, where his most memorable words were, "The sardines are good here."

I was simultaneously horrified, charmed and intrigued. I knew then that he was no poseur, a plus.

So forget your lofty ideals and come back to earth. Love cannot live on caviar alone. There is a restaurant rationale for each stage of a relationship, and singles and marrieds will tell you, never underestimate the power of the cheap date.

Just met

Requirements: Crowd, booze, finger food.

You are probably at: Gordon Biersch, Ocean Club, Eurasia, Palomino, Rainbows game at Aloha Stadium. (The Internet is the exception.)

Pre-date

You may be traveling with a pack since there's safety in numbers. You need a non-commital place where you can nibble on inexpensive pupu and maybe have dinner if you're comfortable. Loud music is a plus because it minimizes the necessity for discussions on the meaning of life. Crowds are a plus because a parade of buff bodies allows you to make note of his/her wandering eye potential. Requirements: Fast service, easy exit.

Restaurant picks: Ryan's Grill, Ocean Club, Gordon Biersch.

First date

Gotta be the movies. You'll dine on hot dogs and oil-drenched popcorn, but it's a fair exchange for two hours without conversation. The challenge comes afterward when you have a little chat over dessert and coffee.

Restaurant picks: A favorite coffee bar, a coffee bar where nobody knows you, Cafe Laufer, Bubbie's or Kahala Mandarin's Plumeria Cafe.

Second date

For her: Take him to Cafe Aczione, an artful coffee shop dressed in vintage furnishing and serving pastas and sandwiches. You'll get a chance to see how he deals with his feminine side. Better yet, hand him a single rose and watch his reaction. If he runs, he's no loss.

For him: Take her to Ray's Cafe at 1190 Smith St. in a seedy area downtown. If she's OK with this, you'll know she has a sense of adventure. If she balks, she'll probably be a priss who will immediately set out to change you.

Third date

So far so good. He's comfortable because he knows from Date 1 that she won't try to change him, but some "training" is OK. She knows this from the sensitivity shown in her Date 1. Requirement: Non-threatening food.

Restaurant pick: Tony Roma's is a good place to gauge table manners. Does he have Neanderthal tendencies that will embarrass your friends or family? Does she tackle a set of ribs like a linebacker? He's also trying to guesstimate her weight and cost to feed over the long haul.

Fourth date

You're not playing anymore. In demonstrating your openness to new food combinations, you also show ability to accept the challenges of a relationship with the same open mind. Requirement: An adult restaurant.

Restaurant picks: Roy's Restaurant, Keo's-Ward Centre or Waikiki, Indigo, A Pacific Cafe.

Goners

Only you know which date is right for busting out the fireworks. Requirements: low lights and expensive food.

Restaurant picks: Nick Nicklaus, Hy's, Alan Wong's, La Mer.

After the honeymoon

You're locked in. You can't run without putting a lot of time and money into the effort. Your true colors are on full display. Requirement: Cheap food that compliments condiments such as ketchup and salt.

Restaurant picks: Shiro's Saimin, Boulevard Saimin, Bob's Bar-B-Que, any fast-food or pizza joint.

Nadine Kam's restaurant reviews run on Thursdays. Reviews are conducted anonymously and paid for by the Star-Bulletin. Star ratings are based on comparisons of similar restaurants:

-- excellent;
-- very good, exceeds expectations;
-- average;
-- below average.

To recommend a restaurant, write: The Weekly Eater, P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, Hawaii 96802. Or send e-mail to features@starbulletin.com