What became
of shame?When our leaders break the laws
By Joe Gardewin
of civility it gets tricky to teach young people
about ethics, respect and responsibilityI work with teens, 14-17 years of age, as a part-time teacher at Sacred Hearts Academy. Lately, I am having more difficulty than usual. The problem centers around values and ethics. I have tried, with my haole limitations, to teach some basic concepts, like respect and responsibility.
For example, there are the Hawaiian concepts of "pono" and "kuleana," which I understand have much to do with doing what is right.
There is the Chinese concept of "li," which has something to do with propriety.
Then there is the Hindu concept of "ahimsa," which involves the absence of a desire to injure.
And finally, there is the notion of civility, which involves behaving in a manner which treats all as they might wish to be treated.
My problem is not with the concepts. I understand them, even if somewhat imperfectly, and so do my students -- perhaps better than I.
My problem is responding to the questions that my students ask.
For example: "Mr. G, don't they kick people out of the military because they have sexual affairs? Or at least, don't they not let them hold high positions like general?" Yes, I reply.
"And didn't they kick out that lady pilot, Flynn, from the Air Force for having an affair with the guy who was married to someone else?" Yes.
"Mr. G., isn't the president the commander in chief of the military?" Something like that, I agree.
"Then why is it all right for the president to do this with a White House intern? Is it pono? Is it li? Doesn't it hurt Hillary (ahimsa)? Is it civility?" I can't answer your questions, I replied.
It didn't stop there. My students focused on what's happening locally.
"Mr. G., what about this trial involving Senator Aki? He pleaded no contest for having gambling (bingo) on his property, so doesn't that mean he's guilty?" Well, it wasn't proven that he was guilty.
"Then why did he have to pay a fine? And why did the other senators punish him by taking away his positions in the Senate?" Don't know.
"So why can't he at least apologize and say that he's sorry?" I don't know, I said again.
They thought about all of this for a while. Then a very bright young woman cocked her head and raised her voice just a bit.
The others became very attentive, some even straining to hear her.
The young lady, a natural leader and top student, said, "So, Mr. G., what you and these people are telling us is that pono, kuleana, li, ahimsa and being civil don't mean as much as they used to, do they?"
I have been thinking about this question for several days now, but I still don't have an answer for her.
THE other day, one of my students stuck her head in the door and caught me musing.
"Mr. G., I think I might have part of the answer for why we are worrying about pono, kuleana, li, ahimsa and being civil."
My interest is piqued by this quiet but intelligent young woman, who always seems to have a smile on her face.
"Yes, Mr. G., I got it from my grandfather. I was talking to him about these problems and he said it's because people have forgotten something." What is that, I ask?
"My grandfather says it has to do with 'hiya.' That's a Filipino word, Tagalog, really. It means shame. He says he used to hear that word a lot, but now he doesn't hear it much. Mr. G., do you think people have forgotten how to be ashamed?"
Can someone please help me answer these questions?
Joe Gardewin is a Kailua resident, who has taught at
Campbell, Damien and Sacred Hearts high schools.