THIS is the time of year when we have baseball playoffs, football is in full swing and basketball and hockey are gearing up. These sacred cows
need to lighten upSo, of course, it's time to talk about sumo wrestling.
Apparently, whoever is in charge of sumo in Japan has finally figured out that the wrestlers are, uh, a little chunky.
As my 10-year-old nephew would say, "Duh!"
For some reason, sumo wrestlers are, literally, sacred cows, kings of a sport held in great reverence because of its long history and tradition and cultural importance. And not just in Japan, but here in Hawaii, too; these islands are home to many transplanted Japanese, and recently many sumotori have come from here, including a couple of the best.
So a lot of local people think sumo is a great sport.
Well, I wish I'd had the guts to say it earlier, but, "Hogwash!"
Maybe it was something special in the past, but it certainly isn't now.
Personally, I'm mostly repulsed by this so-called sport. From what I've seen on television, it is a grotesque freak show -- nothing more than extremely obese guys with no clothes on shoving each other around. It's like pro wrestling without the amusing slapstick and soap opera plots.
I have seen some live sumo locally, and it was a bit more palatable. This was several years ago, at the Hawaii state amateur championships. Ironically, these amateurs seemed more concerned with technique than are their blubbery brothers in the pro ranks in Japan. There was some actual wrestling going on.
It's about time someone recognized that most sumo wrestlers are too fat for their own good -- and apparently, for the good of the sport. If these guys expect to live very long past retirement, they'd better start thinking about their eating.
The traditional vegetable-based sumotori diet -- which some of them are getting away from -- kept the big men relatively healthy, and they could execute the moves they needed to compete in the sport the way it was designed to be done.
PARDON me if I don't send former Hawaii running back Quincy Jacobs a congratulations message and a gold watch on his so-called "retirement," although I am happy for the Rainbows since this looks to be addition by subtraction. On the surface, the loss of Jacobs might seem like another blow to a team that is already reeling. But it's not as bad as it looks -- actually, in the long run (of which Jacobs didn't make many) it should be a blessing.
Yes, Hawaii's depth at tailback is hurt, but now freshman Charles Tharp, who by merit should have been starting all along, can take the spot he deserves. Perhaps with more carries the exciting freshman can breathe some life into the Rainbows' anemic rushing offense.
As for Jacobs, apparently he doesn't even plan on sticking around and finishing his semester of classes paid for by a scholarship that could have gone to someone else.
The term "retirement" is an earned one, given to a person who worked hard and put in valuable service -- someone who did a good job and was a credit to his organization over a long period of time. It takes an incredibly out-of-kilter ego for a mediocre college player to label himself as retiring -- especially a mediocre player who was involved in as much trouble as Jacobs was.
I normally don't write critically of individual college or high school athletes, but this guy was obviously here only to play football.
Jacobs got into fights in the stands and in the dorms, but he didn't seem to fight very hard for first downs. He broke a team rule on the flight home from the Las Vegas game last week, and was suspended by coach Fred vonAppen, who had finally had enough.
Sounds like Jacobs "retired" before he could be "fired."
Dave Reardon is a magazine editor and freelance
writer who has covered Hawaii sports since 1977.
He can be reached via the Star-Bulletin or
by email at dreardon@hmsa.com.
