TWO smart titas ("sisters" in pidgin) think Women's Health Month is about being open and straight up and asking for help. Doing that would have saved their mutual friend.Aukai Iida and Moana Meyer climb a short hill to the grave site of a buddy who had introduced them to each other more than 10 years ago. Meyer's shiny red blouse is a splash of color against the quiet, green lawns of Hawaiian Memorial Park Cemetery. En route here, the two stopped to buy fragrant maile and pikake lei and a box of fresh pastries. They sit, heads bowed, on the damp grass around the smooth, cool gravestone.
This month, their friend would have been 37 years old.
"She was Hawaiian Portuguese," recalls Meyer, CEO of a year-old company called SmarTitas !nk. "About 5 feet 6, a strong, beautiful Hawaiian woman, a (Kamehameha Schools) song contest leader."
The three women had been high school pals, titas, sistahs. Then, the friend, a manic depressive, had committed suicide.
"I wish you had asked for my help," says Meyer, gazing at the grave marker.
Now, the two remaining sistahs have formed a company to get others to seek help instead of hurting themselves or the people around them.
"SmarTitas is aimed at women who are survivors of molestation, drugs or drinking," said Iida. "Its mission is to support women, whether with those obstacles or something else. The idea helps move them forward; it's all about self-acceptance and love."
Iida herself is a survivor of sexual molestation; Meyer is a survivor of substance abuse. Iida said Asians and Hawaiians tend not to talk about such issues.
"It's that cultural space of, 'Shhh, don't tell, don't air the dirty laundry.' But the only way to heal is by talking, by free-form writing, let it out, unburden yourself," she said.
As products of the T-shirt/bumper-sticker era, Meyer and Iida created a catchy line of SmarTitas T-shirts, tank tops, baseball caps, bumper stickers, Frisbees, rubber stamps, key chains, luggage tags and necklaces from $2 to $15. The items carry the messages: "TITAS -- Tough. Intelligent. Tender. Artistic. Sistas." and "UDABEST."
"We're like our T-shirts," Meyer says. "Down to earth, fast, simple messages such as 'Fight AIDS, not people with AIDS' or 'Hawaiian' -- a simple statement of who we are. We're not afraid to ask for help. We want to do things. We want to keep it simple. We want people to get it."
Meyer, a Punahou graduate, and Iida, a Kamehameha graduate, are Two Hot Hawaiian Tamales cooking up communication and consciousness. They speak to youths, are organizing a YWCA women's-health lecture series for 1998 and plan a theater group.
Moana Caroline Aluli Meyer, 37, is the short member of the equation at 5 feet, 2-1/2 inches tall. She's enthusiastic, vociferous, full of gestures and intense. She is a former restaurant/catering manager, police officer and community worker and current full-time CEO, or "chief energy officer."
Tani-Ann Keali'iaukaiokamoana Kahapea Iida, 36, is the tall counterpart at 5 feet 7. She's soft spoken, contained and graceful. She is a registered nurse and health case worker. She's SmarTitas SEO, or "support energy officer." Their company celebrates the power of all women in Hawaii's local culture and offers a Women's Health Month message.
"I saw the movie 'Contact' with Jodie Foster and I sobbed at the end," Meyer recalls.
"It was kinda silly. But these people traveled about a K'zillion light years away to make contact with some form of incredible being, and when they got there the being said, 'Connect back home to your people, connect to each other.'
"We're all looking for that fix somewhere else, but we get it from each other," she says. "We're doing this because we really think women's health is about helping each other ... We're definitely here to promote communication in a kind and loving way.
"I'm 11 years sober off drinking and drugs. I am not ashamed to talk about it. It's very important for other sisters to be able to talk about mistakes."
Iida adds, "My epiphany came when I left behind drugs and drinking, and two years ago I began to deal with my molestation issues."
Then, she opened up to an older cousin in Hauula. Now the SmarTitas urge others to discuss issues openly and nonjudgmentally, even with children.
"The problem is so huge and so untalked about," Iida said about such abuse. "Talk to them, but not in scary terms and not with big terminology."
The SmarTitas offer three Women's Health Month ideas: Love yourself (pamper yourself, have fun, lighten up, laugh a lot; trust in the flow of life because there are miracles in everything, even the pitfalls), communicate what you need to the people you need to get it from, and choose positive words.
And, in a spirit of healthful expression, they reveal frustration, a bit of anger and laughter.
"This world really misses her, she was a gift. And I'm pissed," Meyer laughs to their friend, who rests in the quiet, green cemetery.
"That goes double," Iida whispers.
Meyer concludes, "Basically I wish she had asked for help, because we would have been there in a second, to have been given the opportunity to help ...
"You can't take the responsibility for what someone else does with life, but just to help on any level is very good for women's health."
TITAS flaunt it
Aukai Iida and Moana Meyer will present SmarTitas !nk. information, and TITAS and UDABEST logo wear and fare, ranging from T-shirts to necklaces, at the Makakilo Ho'olaule'a:
Place: Kapolei District Park
The complete calendar of more than 200 Women's Health Month events on all islands is available at selected family planning clinics and doctor's offices, Oahu health clinics, hospitals and pharmacies, and on neighbor islands at state Department of Health offices. Or call 586-4412. Some events: Women's health events
Incontinence therapy, 6 to 8 p.m., Kapiolani Women's Center, 1907 S. Beretania St.; $15. Call 535-7000, Ext. 1.
