Changing Hawaii

By Diane Yukihiro Chang

Friday, August 22, 1997

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Hawaii’s new first lady
meets her peers

VICKY Cayetano is in Las Vegas today, where her other half is being honored as the first Filipino American to be elected governor in the United States. The last time she visited that glitzy city, however, it was more of a milestone/initiation for her.

Last month, Vicky got to mingle with 37 other first ladies (and one first gentleman) at the annual meeting of the National Governors Association.

Her fledgling status as latest inductee is evident in the 1997 "Directory of Governors' Spouses." The write-up on Hawaii's Vicky Cayetano is a single loose sheet, an addendum to be inserted between the bound pages featuring Guam's Geraldine Torres Gutierrez and Idaho's Jacque Batt.

Everything you need to know about the new Mrs. C. is in her profile: Born in Manila. Raised in California. Went to Stanford. Is the full-time president and CEO of United Laundry. Fluent in Chinese. Married Benjamin J. Cayetano in May of this year. Together, they have five kids.

Also in the directory are descriptions of the other first wahine, some of whom Vicky managed to meet in July:

Oregon's Sharon LaCroix Kitzhaber, who was a physical therapist on Maui in the 1980s. She built up a three-clinic practice, which she sold in 1992.

Carolyn Hunt, who is beginning her fourth four-year term as first lady of North Carolina.

Three first ladies with law degrees whose states all start with "m" -- Susan Roosevelt Weld of Massachusetts, who lectures at Boston College Law School; Susan Carlson of Minnesota, a district court referee; and Michelle Engler of Michigan, who has 3-year-old triplet daughters.

Vicky's introduction to the world of first ladies was like joining an exclusive sorority. On her first day at the conference, while the governors met in another room, their spouses brought her into the sisterhood. They gathered around, apologizing in jest for not "warning" her about the hazards of first ladyship.

Then they heard food guru Dr. Dean Ornish lecture about the importance of health, diet, exercise and intimacy in maintaining a strong marriage. Vicky was impressed when Ornish told the spouses, despite their own hectic schedules and looming responsibilities, to keep the proper perspective and not resort to "playing the martyr."

Being the partner of a powerful public servant can too easily lead to that role, Vicky believes: "Although everyone was nice, talented and really dedicated, I did sense that many of the first ladies felt that their husbands belonged to everyone but themselves."

VICKY says she especially enjoyed spending time with her husband at the gathering and, although he didn't exactly say it, the feeling was mutual. He squeezed her hand and smiled a lot when they were dancing, Vicky relates. What a change for a governor who moved into Washington Place without a first lady, and who usually traveled solo to social functions and conferences.

Next year's annual meeting of the gubernatorial minds is set for Milwaukee. But there were hints aplenty in Las Vegas that a certain tropical state would be a mah-velous future site.

Thanks, but no thanks, Vicky Cayetano tried to say tactfully. Since the host government and private-sector donors are expected to pony up millions of dollars for such a "privilege," Honolulu will likely pass on the honor. Just can't afford it, says the nation's newest first lady of states.