Declare your independence and
design yourself a vacation
without compromisesIn a society where blended families have become the norm and vacation time is a take-it-or-leave-it deal, Noah's ark-style vacations have been replaced with the independent solo traveler.
Free of screaming kids, nagging companions or impatient spouses with differing interests, these new travelers are out to see the world on their own terms.
"Americans are more independent than ever," says travel author and flight attendant Sharon Wingler. "Nobody wants to compromise their travel plans or sit at home for lack of a travel companion."
The Hawaii Visitors & Convention Bureau says 27 percent of the nearly 7 million visitor arrivals in Hawaii last year were made by adults traveling solo. And Pat Yee, owner of University Tour & Travel, says that 25 percent or more of her local customers are solo travelers.
"There are more people traveling alone now days," Yee says. "It used to be all families and couples, but now there are more business travelers, single travelers and student travelers."
"It's definitely more accepted," says John Loncar, sales and marketing manager at International Travel Service. "For some reason it just wasn't done five to 10 years ago."
And forget those age-old warnings that traveling solo is for men only. In today's realm of equal rights and a booming single population, anyone from 18 to 81 can embark on a safe and exciting solo adventure.
"It seems frightening the first time you do it," says travel author Eleanor Berman. "You fear getting lost or being robbed. But if you do decide to set out on your own, it can be a very special and rewarding kind of travel."
Berman has been traveling alone since a trip to San Francisco 15 years ago. "I didn't have anyone to travel with and I had vacation. So I went by myself."
That first trip opened up a realm of opportunities. "When you're traveling by yourself, you notice more things," she says. "I could wander into neighborhoods in a way that I wouldn't be able to do if I was with other people."
This is one of the top draws of solo travel.
"The first thing I learned is that, ironically enough, you actually meet more people when you are traveling alone," says Wingler, who has seen Italy, France, Argentina, Costa Rica, Yugoslavia and Malaysia alone. "And by interacting with the people who live there, you end up learning more about the place you are visiting."
Many solo travelers say it's easy to miss the subtle details of a foreign country when you're absorbed in conversation with companions. Solo travelers peer down small cobblestone alleys lined with quaint 18th-century houses and listen intently to the whooshing of windmills or the hustle and bustle of busy cities.
"You find places by watching where the locals go," says Sandy Mckee, a Honolulu attorney who just opened her own tour company. "A lot of times. the most delightful parts of the trip happen by accident -- like sitting next to someone interesting on the train."
On one rainy day in Hong Kong, Mckee ducked into a nearby building and started exploring. "On one floor I found a delightful little English tea room," she says. "It was so relaxing that I spent all day there writing in my journal and reading. Things like that, they're not planned, they just happen. But it's these small encounters that turn out to be the best memories of the trip."
Another bonus for solo travelers: They can do what they want when they want.
"It's just easier to pick up and go because you don't have to wait for anyone," says Rachel Shimamoto of Travel Ways. "You don't have to wait for the shower and you don't have to pick up after yourself."
Traveling alone means you don't have to compromise on the type of vacation you want.
"Even people who love each other don't have the same idea of what makes an ideal vacation -- and that's OK," Wingler says. "As a solo traveler, you get to choose minute to minute what you want to do."
If you love photography, you can spend a whole day shooting one neighborhood without feeling rushed by a bored companion.
"If you love to shop, you can shop to your heart's content," Berman says. "But if you hate shopping, you don't have to go near a single store."
But this freedom comes with a hefty price tag. Hotel rates are based on double occupancy, single supplements pop up everywhere you turn, and you can't split cab fares. Oh, and don't forget the whopper of all solo travel nightmares: dining alone.
"At first, I felt like everyone was looking at me, like they were all wondering why that woman didn't have anyone to eat with," Shimamoto says.
Now, she just "makes friends."
"If I see someone else alone, I just go over and ask if I can join them," she says. "Usually we end up going our separate ways after dinner, but at least we're able to enjoy each other's company."
And that's the trick: Don't be shy. Most people -- no matter what the country -- are genuine and friendly.
"Traveling alone will restore your faith in humanity," Wingler says. "You will realize that you have friends all over the world, you just haven't met them yet."
Books offer advice
about traveling singleTravel Alone and Love It: A flight Attendants Guide to Solo Travel, by Sharon Wingler (Chicago Spectrum Press), $14.95.*
* Available at Borders Books & Music, Ward Centre and Waikele Center
