SO Mike Tyson has had his "coming out" as a cannibal, and the boxing world is shocked. The name of the
game is to maimBut as soon as I heard on Saturday what Tyson had done, I said to myself, "I'm definitely going to get a call from T.J. Thompson on Monday."
Thompson, the local promoter of Extreme Fighting, a ban on which goes into effect today, could not possibly pass up this one.
And he didn't.
You've got to understand that Thompson is a guy with a sense of humor (he once introduced himself to one of my colleagues as "the anti-Christ"), but he assures me this is on the level.
"I want you to know, Pat, that the UFCF (United Full Contact Federation) has issued a lifetime ban on Mike Tyson," he said in a late call.
Hot darn.
"Not that we thought we were going to get him anyway," added Thompson.
I know this will draw a little more attention to UFCF Extreme Fighting, which I've opposed in this column. But I just could not resist the sincerity of this promoter, who's a native my own home state of Massachusetts.
Actually, my eyes were getting a little moist.
"We want to point out this is the kind of bad sportsmanship that would not be allowed at our Super Brawls," he said. "At the end of all of our fights, our fighters hug each other."
Wow. Even Oahu Interscholastic Association athletes don't do that. In fact, they get disciplined if they do.
"What he did is abhorrent," said Thompson.
"I absolutely believe that kids shouldn't be seeing this kind of thing. The athletes in my events show a lot more respect than that."
WHICH of course right away brought the name Jay R. Palmer to my lips.
He's the Waipahu dude who finished off one Super Brawl opponent by stomping his cranium on the mat.
Thompson pointed out to me that that was before it was illegal to do that.
You see, Super Brawls do evolve.
Now -- and this is a fact (gag me with a spoon) -- you CAN- NOT bite a guy in Extreme Fighting or Ultimate Fighting.
In fact, you cannot even gouge a guy's eyes or kick him in the throat. And, more recently, Ultimate Fighting banned groin kicks and hair pulling.
It's beginning to look like a gentleman's sport and Mike Tyson is who we have to thank.
(Of course -- and Thompson insists I'm all wet -- if he guaranteed enforcement of all these rules, he'd feel it at the box office in Guam, the site of his next Super Brawl.)
As we approach our nation's 221st anniversary this week, school children might want to take note that fighting to maim is actually part of our American heritage.
Indeed it is.
MIAMI (Ohio) University professor Elliott Gorn wrote a book on 18th century bare-knuckled prizefighting, as well as a 1985 article in the American Historical Review entitled "Gouge and Bite, Pull Hair and Scratch: The Social Significance of Fighting in the Southern Backcountry."
I got this quaint patriotic spin on bloodsport from an Associated Press story last night.
Gorn said some fighters actually filed their teeth to make their bites sharper.
You can't do that legally in North Carolina anymore.
But, hey, there might be other states where they're not so hung up.
With the right dentist to keep his incisors honed, Tyson might just find another venue to exhibit an art deeply rooted in our culture.
But please, not at the Blaisdell.