IT'S a sad fact of modern life that many people can't have dogs. The reasons vary -- snitty landlords, uptight neighbors, kids with allergies, parents and spouses who don't understand, long work days with nobody at home, small apartments. A few psychiatrically challenged folks just don't like dogs. Finding home for Scrappy,
the digital dogIt's too bad. You'll never find a truer friend, a more honorable ally or a more amusing companion. Dogs are among the few critters that our Creator really spent some time getting right.
I heard many woeful tales of dogless people when I recently placed an ad in this column seeking a good home for Scrappy, a digital dog who lived on my computer screen.
Scrappy came as a free premium with the software I bought to do my income taxes. Although he was made of pixels and cathode rays instead of flesh and blood, he was quite lifelike and required much the same care as a real dog -- feeding, playing, training, grooming, quieting his nighttime whining. It got to the point where I was spending more time with Scrappy than with my real Shar-pei, Bingo. It was ridiculous and he had to go.
Bingo
People who couldn't have the real dogs they desperately wanted thought Scrappy might fill the void. Their stories moved me so much that handing out just one cyber-canine wouldn't do. I ordered a couple more Scrappy CDs so I could give a copy to the first respondent with a good story who came in by phone, fax and e-mail.The e-mailer was Eleanor Waterhouse of Kailua.
"I'd love to give Scrappy a good home -- mine," she said. "My building doesn't allow dogs ...heh, heh, heh. I'll feed him every night so the security guard doesn't hear whining coming from my unit."
How could I say no? I always make it a point to give whatever comfort I can to people who live in "units" watched by security guards.
The phone-caller was Andy Cramer, a public affairs officer with CINCPACFLT at Pearl Harbor. Andy grew up with dogs, but can't keep a real canine in his Navy barracks.
"I would love to give Scrappy a good home," he said. "I have been trying to find Scrappy forever. I've looked on the Internet. I've looked in computer stores."
Well, look no further, Andy. He's on the way.
The winning fax came from Miles Yamabe of Kailua, whose 10-year-old daughter Ashley has been "nipping at the heals" for a pup.
"The first item on her Christmas and birthday lists is automatic: DOG!" Yamabe wrote. "A large collection of stuffed dogs sleeps with her every night. The instructions from all the sacred tomes on dog care at the Kailua Library have been burned into her subconscious.
"She has seen 'The Shaggy Dog,' 'Homeward Bound,' 'Homeward Bound 2,' many Lassie episodes, 'Milo & Otis,' 'Old Yeller,' both versions of '101 Dalmatians,' 'Lady and the Tramp' and other canine-related flicks ad nauseum."
MILES' rapid-fire questions about who will feed, bathe, walk, brush and clean up after the dog are answered by Ashley's rat-a-tat "I will! I will! I will!"
"Please, Dave, we need Scrappy. A virtual dog will demonstrate her maturity and commitment for a real dog. Being a single parent of two girls, I don't need the complication of a pet that could potentially become unwanted."
OK Miles, it's worth a try. But my professional opinion is that you've got a real golden retriever in your future.
These stories about people having to make do without dogs are getting too heavy. I think I'll go let my Bingo slobber on me a little.