IT didn't take a genius to figure out that people would pay good money to have personalized license plates. Ideal tribute:
A street named for MENow such plates are common and the state pulls in a nice chunk of dough from a previously untapped resource. Call it a vanity tax.
I've pushed for this kind of government entrepreneurship for years. Why stop just at license plates? I suggested government take a cue from the advertising world. We have the Hooters Hula Bowl and Cup Noodles Ladies Hawaiian Open. So why not find sponsors for government facilities? I suggested they could even tie-in with certain products, like the Preparation H-3 Freeway or Preparation H-Power. Or the Rolex State Correctional Facility ("A tough watch for hard time").
Now we are engaged in a debate about naming streets. The City Council recently adopted a resolution urging that streets be allowed to have non-Hawaiian names. Many Hawaiians are against this. They feel giving streets Hawaiian names is a way to preserve Hawaiian culture.
I don't necessarily agree that attaching a Hawaiian name to something helps the culture. Look around. Every other cold, steel high-rise in Honolulu is named "Hale Something-or-other." Calling a gigantic empty overpriced condo building a "hale" is really just a ploy by the developer to cash in on Hawaiian culture, not promote it. It's like the trend in Southern California to call every sprawling white suburban development "Rancho Something-or-other" to give it that South-of-the-Border ambiance.
Likewise, giving some little cul-de-sac in a sterile neighborhood of hurricane-bait cheapo townhouses a Hawaiian name doesn't really honor the Hawaiian culture. If anything, it's a cruel joke, considering how many Hawaiians have been waiting patiently for Hawaiian Homes lots for years. I'll bet a Hawaiian would rather get his promised lot and house on a street named Boardwalk or Park Place than live in a rented dump while everyone else moves into neighborhoods with lots of Hawaiian-named streets.
In other words, arguing about giving streets strictly Hawaiian names only pays lip service to the real concerns of Hawaiians.
WHICH brings us back to today's topic, which is squeezing money out of people who want to see their names splattered all over the place. Why not let people pay to have streets named after them? Or their friends? Or their dogs for that matter? It doesn't take a large mental jump to go from vanity license plates to vanity street names.
All you have to do is set a base price for each street, depending on its importance, length, physical detail, etc. Obviously, you could get millions from a company wanting to name a major freeway like the H-1. But you couldn't ask as much for an alley running between King and Beretania. You set the minimum price for each street and then you step back and let people bid.
Think of all the money that would pour in!
Now, some might complain that this would allow only the rich to name streets. Not so. Look at all the crummy cars with vanity plates.
You could even earmark some of the money specifically for Hawaiian groups, such as the Office of Hawaiian Affairs. Those groups could turn around and use the money to name streets after contemporary, well-known Hawaiians with last names like Hee, Trask and King.
It's kind of ironic that under the current laws, a guy like Clayton Hee can head up one of the most powerful Hawaiian organizations in the state but he can't have a side-street named after him.
I'd be willing to fork over some cash to have the street where I live re-named. "Hale Rancho Memminger Avenue" has a nice ring.