By Dean Sensui, Star-Bulletin
Zeke, a strapping Labrador retriever, meets 14-month-old
Billie McKelvey at the Hawaiian Humane Society. Parents
Nancy and Bill said they planned to adopt Zeke.
The Honolulu Star-Bulletin analyzed the city's database of dog licenses and dug up the most common names, most common breeds and even the most common colors.
For example: If you own a black-and-tan female dog of mix-undetermined breed named Lady, you are not alone.
The city keeps track of more than 108,000 licensed dogs through a computer link at the Hawaiian Humane Society. Last year, the city licensed 20,000 dogs.
Poi dogs -- "mixed-undetermined" in officialese -- make up the biggest category of pooch pedigrees, or lack of 'em, while golden retrievers make up the largest pure-bred group.
Meanwhile, the ladies outnumber the gents, with females holding a 3.7 percent edge in numbers.
During their lifetime, dog owners may pick a name for five or six dogs, but at the Hawaiian Humane Society, volunteers and workers name hundreds of stray dogs picked up every year.
Last week, Humane Society spokeswoman Nellie Vierra walked down the row of cages holding dogs ready for adoption. There was Stevie, Pete, Darryl, Nalu, Maka and Brandy. Tails wagging, noses pressed against the screen, all were hoping that the next kind stranger would take them to a new caring home.
Ivan, an elegant and huge Borzoi given up by a family moving to an apartment, came in already named, so Humane Society officials won't change it.
"We try to find some connection with the animal, so we rely on the assessment from the examining veterinarian," Vierra said.
The society recently took in a dog named Elvis. On the adoption card at the front of the dog's cage, they wrote, "I'm nothing but a hound dog" and Elvis left the building with a new family in just two days.
Somewhere in Honolulu, there is a dog that comes when you holler "Lunchmeat!"
Others bearing edible monikers include: Kim Chee, Liver, Lup Chong (sic), Mango, Manju, Marshmallow, Meatball, Meatloaf, Moochi, Musubi, Nachos, Natto, Ravioli, Saimin, Sausage, Shitake (sic), Shortribs, Sushi, Tabasco and Truffle.
There is also a mixed-Corgi/Basenji called Adobo, a little Maltese named Ahi Poki and a Beagle dubbed Bagel.
When we aren't naming our dogs Kibbles or Jumbo Shrimp, we are thinking about something to drink. For the paws that refreshes in Honolulu: Martini, Johnnie Walker Black, not to mention Stolichnaya, Tattinger, Tequila and Tuborg.
Other dog owners must spend a lot of time at the Great Books Society, judging from the literary names of some Honolulu hounds: Nietzche, Oedipus, Persephone, Phaedra, Rosencrantz, Shakespeare, Tennyson, Thermopylae and Tiberius.
Not willing to settle for the oh-so-common Fido, one creative speller dubbed his dog Phydeaux.
Other dog owners apparently really wanted another animal, judging from their names: Pig, Piranha, Pollywog, Pony, Shark, Squirrel, Tiger and Werewolf.
Others appear bi-culturally species challenged as they use the Japanese or Hawaiian word for cat (Neko and Popoki) to name their dogs.
To have some fun, dog owners resort to puns: There's a Neapolitan Mastiff named Al Capone and a poi dog called Al Cabone.
There also are some dogs that, judging by their names, you may not want to meet.
Watch out for the Pit Bull named Hitler and others who go by Killer-Gorilla, Madame Pele, Mao Tse Tung, Mussolini, O.J., Rommel, Shotgun and Stalin.
The Chihuahua named Cujo, however, is probably safe.
Experts say a puppy needs just the right name to live up to, a name that fits his personality or his appearance or his owner's expectations. A puppy's name will be used dozens of times each day. It should be short and sweet, preferably one or two syllables. It should not sound like anyone else's name or like any of the commands that will be used to tell the puppy what you expect him to do.
So the dogs named Honesty and Justice must be doing all right. The one named Imelda Marcos, however, probably should be watched around your shoe collection.
It is anyone's guess regarding Kiku Yodawoof.