THERE is something just a bit troublesome about citizen volunteers being empowered by the city to issue citations to vehicles parked illegally in handicapped parking. Ticket posse hopes to
stall parking cheatsOn the surface, it is one of those moves that seems hard to argue with. We've all seen idiots who slip into the handicapped parking stalls just to run in and buy a case of beer. (There also apparently are other idiots who use parking passes issued to a handicapped family member.)
Only a low-life scum bag who doesn't believe in the afterlife or, at least, bachi, would be sleazy enough to park in a handicapped parking zone. In my book, that's asking the bachi gods to break your knees or paralyze you from the neck down in retribution for flaunting your healthfulness on the disabled population.
But I have a problem with regular old citizens becoming part-time officers of the law. There has always been a snitch factor at work here. Anyone who sees any illegal activity, even something as mundane as illegal parking, can call 911 and a beat cop will be on the scene to issue the citation.
That way, if the perp turns out to be drunk, crazy or both, Joe Citizen won't be the one getting whomped when the parking violator comes storming out of the mini-mart.
Thanks largely to cellular phones, snitching has become a national pastime. Entire television shows depend on snitching and it has shrunk the world. In the old days, Bonnie and Clyde only needed to cross a state line to be safe. Now, "America's Most Wanted," "Unsolved Mysteries" and other snitch-driven shows leave no sanctuary for the hunted.
Locally, the KSSK radio posse, a veritable army of listeners with cellular phones at the ready, kicks into action as soon as a car is stolen or baby rattle snatched.
And drunken or simply belligerent drivers can no longer terrorize the roadways with impunity. The odds are several other drivers armed with cellular phones will rat them out in a heart beat to the police.
ALL this is for the better, really. Except that it is nudging closer to that Brave New World where Big Brother isn't the government, but your neighbor, ready to turn you in for the slightest perceived offense.
Power's a crazy thing. Ask anyone who has become the target of an overly zealous Neighborhood Board member or a neighborhood association design committee person.
And now we give some power to some citizens to issue citations to cars parked in handicapped zones. This, I suppose, will work so well that we will soon have entire brigades of citizens armed with citation pads ready to slap a ticket on your car as soon as any parking meter ticks off.
Why stop there? The police need help. Why not let citizen patrols cite people for littering, graffiti or loitering?
Why? Because there supposedly is some threshold of common sense built into the system that allows certain people to become law enforcement officers. These people are supposed to be neutral. But look how many police departments are under attack for allegedly being racist, sexist or culturally motivated. How do we know that members of our new parking posse harbor no special prejudices that will result in them giving tickets to one type of violator and not another?
What happens when the city is sued by someone who feels singled out by a citation cowboy who has a personal beef with the owner of the offending car?
That won't happen. Right. These new ticket troopers have been trained by the police department. They are only out to make the world a better place. None of them care about power or are frustrated cop-wannabes. Right.
Like I said, there's nothing wrong on the surface with this new enforcement effort. But it could be a quick ticket to Troubleville.
