In 1989, Denmark passed a registered partnership law to give same-sex couples legal rights. As approval of the law increases and couples continue to register, advocates and opponents discuss proposed changes to extend rights. The most controversial would allow a non-biological partner to adopt his or her partner's children. Part Two of the Star-Bulletin's three-day report focuses on this issue and the call for church blessings.
The law doesn't allow registered lesbian couples free access to artificial insemination, even though the procedure is free for heterosexual couples and single women.
It also doesn't allow lesbians or gays to adopt the nonbiological children they raise with their partners.
The Bechs were in their mid-30s, had discussed having children for five years and didn't want to wait for changes in the law.
"We're happy with the way we live," Karin Bech said from the dining room of their two-story house. "We're happy about being lesbians."
The Bechs now have a 14-month-old baby girl, born to Anne Bech through artificial insemination, for which they paid. Karin Bech shares financial responsibility for her, but has no legal rights.
If Anne Bech were to die, a judge would decide custody of the baby.
They hope Parliament amends the partnership law to treat homosexual and heterosexual couples equally, which would allow Karin Bech to adopt her daughter and other homosexual couples to adopt foreign-born babies.
"My parents have the same feeling for Freja as they have for my sister's children," Karin Bech said. "They see she's so much me."
"We have to look at the reality and what's best for the child," said Dorte Bennedsen, a Parliament member who lobbied for the original partnership law.
Such a change would give the children already being raised by homosexual couples economic benefits, security and the societal status of having the law recognize their parents.
Some Parliament members oppose adoption by homosexual couples, believing a child should have a mother and a father in the home.
But the three same-sex couples suing Hawaii for the right to marry said a child's optimal development depends on love and quality of care, not the number, gender or biological connection of the parents.
They based their conclusions on studies of children being raised by homosexual parents in the United States, where it is legal for homosexuals to adopt.
A state judge ruled that the state's argument wasn't legally compelling and couldn't justify the ban. But he postponed an order to force the state to issue same-sex licenses until the Hawaii Supreme Court rules on the appeal.
Bennedsen said Denmark's law should support whatever is best for children. But she also said she opposed foreign adoptions because she fears foreign countries would cut off their supply of babies to Denmark if they knew homosexuals could adopt.
The number of babies up for adoption in Denmark already is low, failing to meet the demand by couples who can't have children, said Ivan Larsen, a state Church of Denmark priest and gay activist.
He estimated only 50 to 75 babies were available each year.
Additionally, activists say Danes tend to "sexualize" homosexual relationships and don't feel comfortable with homosexuals, especially gay men, raising children.
"Some people still think of gay men as pedophiles," said Vibeke Nissen, a psychologist and lesbian activist.
The partnership law now excludes lesbians from free services, based on the thinking that they theoretically could conceive if they were with a man.
"Politicians say there is nothing wrong with lesbian women, that they can get pregnant if they want to," Nissen said. "They just want to make it as difficult as possible for us."
If the country followed that policy with heterosexual couples, it would expect a woman with an infertile husband to get pregnant from another man rather than rely on artificial insemination, she said.
Bennedsen said she has not formed a position on artificial insemination, adding, "No one has a right to a child."
But she added that the government should make the law equal, meaning it should pay for lesbian couples if it pays for single heterosexual women.
The Bechs, who have been together for eight years and describe themselves as married under the law, began with an anonymous sperm donor.
Karin Bech, 36, tried first, but couldn't get pregnant. Anne, 35, followed with the same result, paying about $1,000 for each insemination.
As time passed, they believed their inability to get pregnant from an anonymous donor carried a higher message.
A close male friend who knew they wanted a family volunteered his sperm.
He agreed to act as a father, but not as a parent, leaving legal responsibility to the Bechs.
Anne Bech, a social security adviser, conceived after a second attempt with artificial insemination. She had an easy pregnancy, remained in high spirits throughout it and was in labor a brief four hours.
Then came Freja, a big-eyed, bouncing, blond-haired baby.
"When I watch her, she's just like the sun," said Karin Bech. "She's very secure."
The Bechs live as a family in a roomy house about 20 minutes from Copenhagen's city center. They chose the house in part because it has a large, green backyard, perfect for a child.
As a registered partner, Karin Bech has legal financial responsibilities for Freja. But without a biological connection, neither she nor her family can pass along their assets to Freja without high taxes. Karin Bech said the government would take $90,000 from an inheritance worth $100,000.
As Freja begins her second year, her parents plan an open lifestyle so that she feels her family is as good as anyone else's.
"I just want Freja to be strong," Karin Bech said. "My hope is that she can answer for herself."
But homosexual issues became part of the public agenda only the last 15 years. "It was on the list of mental illnesses until a few years ago," said Dorte Bennedsen, Danish Parliament member who supports extending some partnership rights.
Conservative religious groups and political parties are vocal in both countries, but have few votes in Parliament.
The state Church of Denmark is democratic. Gay activists quote Grundtvig, a 19th century Christian thinker: "Human being first and then a Christian."
Unlike the United States, neither country allows homosexuals to adopt children.
An appellate court in Amsterdam in December ruled that it was in a child's interest to allow same-sex adoption. But the court denied adoption based on legal language, leaving the country's Supreme Court to sort it out.
Yesterday
Push for equality: The impact of registered partnerships for same-sex couples in Denmark, the first country to legalize such unions.
Today
Related stories in today’s [Business] section online
Tomorrow
Archive of previous same-sex stories