Sort of. Even in death, the Chinese make allowances for a bribe or two.
While few are eager to go to hell before their time, an exhibition of Chinese scrolls at the University of Hawaii Art Gallery makes such a visit possible.
"A Journey Through Chinese Hell: Hell Scrolls of Taiwan," on loan from the Smithsonian Institution, offers a semblance of an afterlife journey, with visitors roaming through a darkened maze as they pass through the 10 courts of hell.
Unlike the straightforward Western view of heaven, hell, and Judgment Day, in which you are looked over and outfitted with either wings and halo, or a pair of horns, the Chinese believe in a labyrinth of courts, punishments and torture dens.
There's a reason for these complicated procedures, of course.
"After so many years of refining yourself you're reincarnated," said Rev. Duane Pang of the Wah Kong Temple in Liliha.
"Religion has it all worked out," said gallery director and Professor of Art Tom Klobe, who brought the exhibition to Hawaii. "You think of it as spiritual, but it has a logic and rationale that is so carefully calculated. They have every little loophole figured out.
"By the time you get to the 9th hell, they give you a potion to forget all your past life, forget the experience of torture. Then you're reincarnated and since you don't remember hell, you make the same stupid mistakes again!"
Pang recalls going to Taoist funerals when he was a child, and being frightened by the visions of hell on the wall.
"They were scary, much more than this. The paintings were morbid."
While the paintings made an immediate impression on him, he said, "I'd go home and forget about it ... until the next funeral."
Pang, who grew up here, but studied for the Taoist priesthood in Taiwan, said, "In America, there's not much emphasis in teaching this to kids. But in
Taiwan I would see grandparents go up to the scrolls and tell kids, 'If you're bad, this is what's going to happen to you.'
"Over here, I don't think that happened because in many cases the grandparents couldn't communicate with their grandchildren."
Only those who lead a virtuous life are allowed to cross silver and gold bridges and escape torture.
After that, souls are sent to judges who are surrounded by banners that definitely counter the belief that "nice guys finish last." The Chinese slogans read, "Good men may be cheated by men, but not by heaven," and "Evil doers are feared by men but not by heaven."
So what kind of deeds earn you torture in hell? Well, if you've killed any cockroaches lately, a roach will probably have the opportunity to chomp on you in Chinese hell.
If you've gossiped, you'll likely have your tongue cut off.
Here's one for married sons: If you're guilty of siding with your wife instead of your mother, you'll be tossed into a field of blades on Knife Mountain.
The courts also distinguish between punishments for those who poison their husbands, and those who poison their in-laws.
The first scrolls in the exhibition were created by the artist Ho Hsin-yen early this century. In these colorful scrolls, clothes are patterned after Chinese opera costumes. And while bloody scenes might earn an NC17 rating for violent content if the scrolls came to life on film, there's nothing shown that kids probably haven't been exposed to in comic books or a Schwarzenegger flick.
Also on view will be one of the oldest surviving sets of hell scrolls, the Hsin Chu set, which dates from the late 18th century. The set is extremely rare since temples discarded hell scrolls as they became tattered and worn. The priests who used the Hsin Chu set considered them valuable and worthy of preservation. Even so, the scrolls are fragile and an extensive restoration process was required to prepare them for this exhibition.
"Through Ching Ming or the Hungry Ghost Festival, relatives can make offerings on behalf of their ancestors. Sufficient offerings will reduce your suffering," Pang said.
Klobe said he prefers the Chinese view of hell to the finality of the Western version. "You really have a lot more chances to come back in a better state than you were in a previous life, or you can come back in a worse state, but it's up to you."
Asked if he would try to be good, Klobe, who felt in his element while working with the hell scrolls, hesitated before Pang answered for him, "Of course. I can answer right away because Chinese know how to bribe their way out. It's the non-Chinese that takes chances."
Speaking of bribes, the "Hell Scrolls" exhibition cost $6,400 to produce and transport, and Pang said that there will be ample opportunity for guests to perform a virtuous act and make a donation to the university to offset costs.
Otherwise, see you in court.
What: A Journey Through Chinese Hell: Hell Scrolls of Taiwan