I just took the written driver's exam and it confirmed two things: one, when coming across a railroad crossing where there are two red lights flashing, the proper action to take is to look right and left and make sure you are still in Hawaii and, two, the test is way too easy. Licensing exam
drives me crazyI've long contended that one of the problems with drivers in Hawaii is that they simply don't know how to drive. Yes, they know that the steering wheel is connected in some manner to the front wheels, they understand that if they press a foot down on a floor pedal the car seems to accelerate and they realize that parallel parking spaces are designed to be just an inch-and-a-half shorter than the car they're driving.
But they don't know the rules of the road. Now, I've beat this issue for years and I'm not going to lay out all the stupid things drivers do, like stop on the end of freeway on-ramps, and use the left-hand lanes of the Pali and Likelike highways for cruising while putting on make-up or setting up complicated conference calls on their cellular phones.
Basically, it's not their fault that they are driving dimwits. It's the city's fault for making the written driving test so easy that anyone one can pass it.
The problem is that the test emphasizes all the wrong issues. For instance, it has questions about what to do when you approach a railroad crossing. Now, that's something we are faced with daily in Hawaii, eh? It asks you to identify the little sign on the back of slow-moving farm machinery. God knows how many times you have to pass a mechanized cotton picker or wheat combine on the H-1 Freeway.
But it doesn't ask you why it's important to have insurance. Some geniuses were calling the Perry and Price radio show the other day explaining why they didn't have car insurance.
"I only, da kine, surf, eh? My car wen cost only $200 so, hey, I'm not gonna pay $900 for insurance, eh? What you t'ink me, stupid, eh?"
Yeah. Because a $200 car can run over a person just as easily as a $50,000 Mercedes, you putz. And when it does, the crippled victim or his family is going to sue you, especially if you've been drinking. And when he wins the lawsuit, he's going to take your house, your boat, your bank account and your $200 car, dimwit.
THEY should have this question on the driving test: "The reason you have insurance is to A. Pay for minor fender benders or, B. To cover yourself in case you happen to run over a 12-year-old Ph.D candidate with a future earning potential of $1.5 zillion."
If you miss just that question alone, you should flunk.
And there should be lots of questions like that. Questions that stress the RESPONSIBILITY of driving, not just how to hold your arm out the window if you want to turn left. The test should be so hard that you have to study for weeks just to have a chance to pass it. It is frightening that 5 minutes of studying little flash cards posted on a wall is all it takes to pass a test that will put the power of life and death in your hands.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I will admit that I missed one question on the test. But I think my answer was right. When passing a car, do you pull back into your lane when you are one car length in front of the car you are passing or when you can see the other car in your rear view mirror?
The official answer is when you can see the car in your mirror. I disagree. Some mirrors are so convex these days that you could see a monkey sitting on your shoulder through one of them. That's why some mirrors warn, "Objects Are Closer Than They Appear."
Anyone cutting in front of a vehicle they passed as soon as they see it in the mirror is going to give that other driver quite a thrill.
Especially if he's some old farmer dude driving a wheat harvester.
