HERE is one of the misconceptions in sports: Coaches only know how to coach. Take my ref, please ...
is this thing on?Last night's Outrigger Hotels Rainbow Classic banquet proved they're also stand-up comedians.
Since it is now after 2 a.m. and I'm falling asleep after eating 15 plates of prime rib and sashimi, let's turn the column floor over to the tourney's eight coaches.
Michigan's Steve Fisher: "Normally the talk about the officials and playing the home team is rhetoric. But I had a chance to meet an old friend, Len Scaduto, who is now an assistant coach at Hawaii. We both coached high school teams in the Chicago area and when we played his team at their tournament the ball went out of bounds and Len jumped up screaming. Then the ref said 'Our ball.' With Scaduto on the staff at Hawaii, I think the talk about the refs here is appropriate."
"We left our crew walking the beach and Robert Traylor said he was going to look for Moby Dick, so I don't know if he'll be around when we play on Saturday or not."
Maryland's Gary Williams: "Fish said that Traylor was looking for Moby Dick? Well, we heard he was mistaken for Moby Dick and got harpooned."
"(Golden State's) Joe Smith would be a senior this year if he didn't go to the NBA. Not that I ever think about that."
Northwestern's Ricky Byrdsong: "For all of you who didn't try that raw fish, you should. It tastes just like chicken."
"When you coach at Northwestern, all you hear is 'fine academics'."
"I once told one of my assistants at halftime, 'Coach we have to execute!' And he said 'Who?'"
"Hey, I coach at Northwestern. I didn't graduate from there."
"The strength of our team right now is coaching."
"The best team we played is Illinois State and they beat us pretty good. So we're angry and we're out here to take it out on Hawaii. To get by us tomorrow night they' re going to need their referees."
"That's one of those things you say when your team isn't that good: We play hard."
Memphis' Larry Finch: "Just like Coach Byrdsong said, we're gonna play hard."
Georgia's Tubby Smith: "He's the best point guard I ever coached. But my wife doesn't think so because my son plays point guard for us now."
Washington State's Kevin Eastman: "It was mentioned that we're in such an isolated place and there's nothing around for thousands of miles. Well, have you been to Pullman?"
"We have really shocked your culture. We went, what do you call it, snorkeling? The fish are kind of like the alumni. When you first get there, they're hovering around you. But then after a while they start biting you. And a couple of our guys turned snorkeling into bend over-ing. They're scared of the fish, so when they get to the edge of the ocean they just bend over and look into the water."
"Then part of our crew rented a convertible and were the only ones on the island to have the top down all day (in the rain)."
"They play what you could call organized chaos, which means we should blend in real well."
Hawaii's Riley Wallace: "I'll be one of the truthful ones. We're not very good. My phone was ringing off the hook with teams wanting to play us. ESPN called and said they wanted us to play Michigan in the first round, so I said there will be no ESPN if we play Michigan first."
(On Byrdsong, who once walked up into the stands while his team was playing): "Ricky made us put in his contract that he wants all these seats on the bench and one up in the balcony in case he wants to coach from up there."
"Everyone wants to play us, but we still have our referees. And you're right, they're good. Red Rocha asked me last week 'Still got the boys?' I said 'They're still here.' And he said. 'Then I know you'll have a shot.' "