Is this what the holidays are all about?
For many, it is. That's why the phenomenon of "the holiday blues" is becoming the rule, and holiday cheer is becoming the exception to that rule. According to recent research, loneliness and depression climb to their highest levels during the holidays. In January, employee assistance programs tend to jump by as much as 30 percent over average levels, as people try to cope with emotions that resurface every year at this time: high expectations, too much to do in too little time, loneliness, financial difficulties and memories of painful holidays past.
Sadly, there's no one to blame but ourselves. As the old saying goes, "Pride goeth before a fall." We are witnessing that fall in the onslaught of anxiety and depression that now marks what was once a genuine period for goodwill and good deed. In the rush to buy everyone a gift, make the perfect holiday meal and put up all the holiday decorations, people are trying to get everything done, without remembering why it is they are doing it.
We do, however, have the power to put our priorities back where they belong. In doing so, we will not only be helping others, but also helping ourselves find the true meaning of the holidays. Here are some tips to keep in mind in order to stay on top of the holiday blues.
First, take control of the season. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done, sit down and write out what is really important. Make a list of all the tasks that need tending, then evaluate them in terms of highest priority. Realize you have choices. Try to get family members involved and be more flexible with household rules.
Second, be creative. If the traditional family meal doesn't spark feelings of goodwill, take time to involve your family in something that does. Gather everyone together to volunteer at a local soup pantry on a Saturday morning, make holiday cards for senior citizens at a nursing home, or, with your children's input create a list of chores for them to do and tell them their allowance that week will go toward a charity. Call a local nonprofit organization and ask for suggestions if you need more ideas.
Third, compromise. If you are going to try to put more meaning in the holiday, remember you may need to skip other steps in your preparations. If making candy and cookies is less than enjoyable, buy your goods from a bake sale this year. If the funds are low, gather your kids around and spend the day making homemade gifts. If you fear spending the holidays alone, gather with others who are also flying solo. Instead of letting all the stress get in the way, remind yourself what you're celebrating in the first place.
Fourth, resist the urge to quarrel. As part of your attempt to bring feelings of goodwill back into the holidays, put your differences with siblings or other family members aside. Resist the temptation to lash out and don't immediately voice your disagreements, hurts and angers. If you do feel you need to communicate your concerns with someone, make a concentrated effort to do so without alienating the other person.
Finally, try to spend some holiday cheer through the oldest known method - laughter. When everything seems to be falling apart, make yourself watch one of your favorite comedy movies, read a funny comic strip, or spend some time with someone who always makes you laugh.
The holidays don't have to be synonymous with stress. Take a step back and think about true meaning behind the season. Perhaps then you may find the season has true meaning for you.