SOME students can't wait to graduate and get out of high school. They can't wait for freedom and the ability to sleep in late. There’s a reason
they call it ‘work’But I'm beginning to think that freedom is an illusion.
I recently applied for a job that required me to work every day of the year, including holidays. I would work about five hours each week day, with shifts beginning right after school, and about seven hours a day on the weekend.
I decided not to take the job because I'm too preoccupied with school. I'm taking trigonometry and a college preparatory class which gives me such a headache trying to understand. I'm also a member of the Student Council, which sometimes means missing classes to attend meetings, and making up work I missed by staying in the A-period, or after-school period.
A job would not allow room for all these activities. But that's how jobs are. They require full dedication and waking up early in the morning. One of the main purposes of school is to teach us how life is going to be. When you're a kid, it feels like a prison, but really, it sets a routine most people end up keeping for life.
There is no free ride in society, and like it or not, the only thing that changes when you get a typical job are the hours. They're longer than school hours, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. instead of 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.
After this experience I became more worried about graduating than ever. It's not like I want to stay in high school all my life, but I just want things to slow down.
I've never been as stressed out as I have been these first few months in school. In less than two years, I'm going to graduate and upper classmen have been telling me that before I know it, I'll be hearing the band play "Fanfare and Processional" as I walk down the aisle to get my diploma.
My freshman year I just waited and waited for time to go by, and now here I am in trig class trying to figure out why time runs out so fast.
I feel pressured to do well at every task. I worry about whether or not I'm going to college. I fear not being able to pay for it and the possibility that I won't even be accepted at the University of Hawaii at Manoa.
The prospect of taking SATs, ACTs and the other college tests just freaks me out.
Also, I think part of the reason I became a member of the Key Club, Leo Club and Imua Knights is because I heard colleges like to see student involvement; so I feel that I have to join, join, join.
I fear I won't be able to live up to my dreams, and I fear the thought of growing up and remaining dependent on my parents. I know it happens because sometimes I hear about 40-year-old men living with their moms.
I feel like Peter Pan who
doesn't want to grow up and face reality. I know that I'm going to have to face it, but couldn't there be a "Neverland" for me to fly to?
After talking with my school's college counselor Ms. Hirai, I find that many other students have the same lost and confused feeling. Most are seniors who are graduating and haven't begun to plan their post-high school life.
Since I was little, I wanted to be a teacher. But as many know, being a teacher is not necessarily financially rewarding, even if it is rewarding in other aspects. But should I choose to be happy or to be financially stable? Ms. Hirai said that the choice is difficult, but that I would just have to weigh positives and negatives.
Counselors can provide videos, bulletins and computer programs which help students find out what interests them. But from a counselor's perspective, it's hard to reach all students.
Students need to take the initiative in planning what they are going to do. It's not like a good future is going to be handed to you.
All I can do now is work hard and explore as many options as I can. When things are tough, I can always find a friend to reach out to. All the while I keep telling myself, "I know I can, I know I can."
Liane Kaneko is a junior at Castle High School. Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature allowing teens and young adults to serve up fresh perspective. Guys and girls speak up by fax at 523-8509; by answering machine at 525-8666; snail mail at P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, HI 96802; or e-mail, features@starbulletin.com