Our house was a stone's throw from Awiki, on nearby Poiki Place. But in a microcosm like Mililani Town, it was the same as living right next-door.
I probably took my daughter trick-or-treating at the Kims' house every Halloween, and surely we must have sauntered past the Lau residence on weekend walks. Now Randall and Carol Kim, and their friend Terry Nakasone, are dead - slain by their neighbor Michael Lau, who turned the gun on himself.
The really shocking part was it was over a seemingly manini dispute. Lau had complained to police before about how cars from next-door blocked his driveway, and that the two Kim children made too much noise at play. On Sunday, Lau apparently became so enraged that he ran home, grabbed two registered guns, and went on a rampage.
This incident set me off on a mini rampage of my own, for three main reasons:
The hazards of guns. The spin-masters at the Hawaii Rifle Association have been busy writing letters to the editor with these premises: 1) The tragedy might have been avoided if the Kims had owned a firearm. 2) Guns aren't bad. Less than half of the people murdered in Hawaii annually are felled by bullets.
These excuses are a shibai. 1) Don't blame the Kims for not slinging a firearm; the problem was that Lau did. More people are shot to death by their spouses, lovers, family members, friends and neighbors, by accident or via suicide, than by complete strangers breaking into homes with the intent to burglarize, rob or maim.
2) It's true that in 1995, out of 56 homicide victims in Hawaii, only 24 or 30.4 percent were done in by handgun or rifle. But that is twice the number of those murdered by knife or cutting instrument (10), a "strongarm" tactic like strangulation (14), or some other method (8) of draining the life from a human being.
A harrowing 911 tape. Two days after the gory crime, local TV news stations replayed the chilling 911 call made by Carol Kim, in which she begged for her life for the sake of her children. Her cry, "My kids! My kids!" was emotionally wrenching. Some of the anchorpeople were considerate enough to warn viewers that the sound bite might be "disturbing," but in that case, why run it at all?
Sensationalism, ratings, shock value - take your pick. Yes, the Star-Bulletin ran a transcript of the call, but actually hearing Mrs. Kim's screams was far more troubling than reading about it. We can only hope that 7-year-old Toby Kim, and his 6-year-old sister, Carly, never have to listen to their mother's anguished pleas.
Help was at hand. The sad part about this saga is that assistance was readily available. Organizations under the Mediation Centers of Hawaii - like the Neighborhood Justice Center on Oahu, the Kauai Mediation Program and Mediation Services of Maui - have experienced mediators who can help work out disputes between neighbors.
It's a well-honed, effective method of problem solving, one that is too late now for the Laus and Kims. But those currently huhu at neighbors might want to consider the professional guidance of such trained, third-party facilitators. They can help lead people down a happier path than the now somber Awiki Street, a road which is still in mourning.