"Regular" weird stuff, though, isn't too bad. So plug in a computer and modem and begin an exploration of that wonderful plethora of knowledge.
First, start with the Dog Diaper Home Page. You will be mesmerized by the fact that some very smart person created a dog diaper for solid waste. Thanks to this web site, dog owners worldwide can triumphantly liberate themselves from the ghastly pooper scooper.
According to its promoters, the diaper will revolutionize canine care, even for truly stupid dogs. That's right, the page states, "dogs do not require training to use the diaper."
Skeptics may view color illustrations of Dog Diaper styles and even see a video demonstration. These diaper guys obviously are not kidding because this is comprehensive stuff.
Another zany web site is the House of Socks, which addresses the question that has been the bane of man's existence since the invention of socks, that is, "What happened to that one missing sock?"
You will no longer have to endure unnecessary worry and hassle by filing a Missing Sock Report with the sock police, because the Sock House will guide you on an enlightening journey into the mystery of your sock's whereabouts.
The process used by the House of Socks will leave you in awe because it reflects sheer genius. "Where do you think you lost your sock?" the screen inquires. They then have you choose from remarkable options like washer, dryer or household pet. They're so perceptive, it's scary.
Yet another neat web site belongs to the Klingon Language Institute. (For those who think a Klingon is either a barnacle-type creature or a brand of plastic wrap, let it be known that Klingons are a bunch of outer space dudes from "Star Trek.")
The question is, why learn a mundane language like French or Spanish when you can learn the galactic language of the Klingons? It may not fulfill any academic language requirements, but what the heck, be adventurous.
With this web site, you can acquaint yourself with what the institute has to offer. Who knows, you might even join their annual conference, which is described as "a chance for Klingonists to come together and spend the better part of a week speaking Klingon." You say you've got some free time?
BUT perhaps the most fascinating site on the 'Net is one put out by Summum Mummification. (You can only look at it if you can say it five times fast.) Their page received the highest rating for a WWW Post-Mortem Page - four stones (grave stones, that is) - for its excellent content.
Summum states that for a paltry sum of $4,500, your deceased pet cat, dog, seagull, gopher, vampire bat, gila monster, anteater or duck-billed platypus, of up to 15 pounds, can be mummified in Salt Lake City. Then in 60 to 90 days, voila! Your animal will be sent back to you in a nifty bronze mummy case.
I know what you're thinking. You don't want to part with your pet when your own hour of doom arrives. No problem. Summum can arrange for both you and your companion to be mummies together, forever. Just call them.
You don't even have to worry about turning out shriveled and hideous-looking like those old Egyptian mummies, because the Summum people are pros. Their method will "keep you looking healthy and robust for millenia."
This is just a sampling of what's on the Internet. If you think any of it is strange, just imagine what the really weird stuff is like.
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