The first character I met via our third-floor cafeteria was a samurai chef who wore the same headband every day, and who acknowledged customers with grunts instead of words. He would eventually prove to be the most "normal" of the bunch.
After that, we had one operator whose natural inclination was to serve Korean fare, but who was given the mandate to also serve American fare, such that on Thursdays we got roast turkey with rice, bean sprouts and plenty of kim chee. Burger and fries? No problem, and here's kim chee to go with that.
I committed to home lunches, rather than face the daily grind. I dreamed of the day the smooth operators would take over - the Hyatt, Marriott. They've worked government, hospital and golf course cafeterias. Why not media? Was it something we said?
Eventually, we got one operator whose food was OK, but for whom service meant keeping customers up to half an hour, in line.
Outsiders may already be familiar with the fare served up by Nick and Nina Patchrapong. The couple ran Ala Moana Center's Peppermill before moving into the news building. They're no fools. There's less money and less traffic involved, but running the News Cafe means they can work fewer weekday hours and take Sundays off.
The whiners and curmudgeons among us seem to have taken some time off also, for lunch time complaints have dwindled to a few commentaries that burgers ($2.95 and $3.25) aren't quite as thick and juicy as a predecessor's and Spaghetti with Meat Sauce ($4.95) is "just ordinary." These are barely complaints.
News Cafe by Nick starts the day with reasonably priced breakfasts. Three-egg Denver, mushroom or Spanish omelettes run $3.50 and come with toast, and a choice of rice, home fries or hash browns. The Wikiwiki Special ($2.95) consists of rice, Spam and two scrambled eggs. French toast is accompanied by bacon, at $3.25.
It is at lunchtime that the most variety is offered. In addition to $4.95 daily entrees such as a cheesy Ratatouille, a local-style Beef Stew that's slightly spicy and Honey-Dipped Chicken, there is usually a daily offering of fish, from Cajun Mahimahi to Teriyaki Ahi; a meat dish such Braised Short Ribs or Swedish Meatballs; and a curry dish that is never wimpy, packing a chili-filled wallop.
In the evening, the Patchrapongs turn their attentions to Thai specialties such as Green Papaya Salad ($4.95), a Spicy Lemongrass and Shrimp Soup ($7.95) to cure all ails, and Larb ($5.95), a beef salad spiked with raw onion, chilis, cilantro and green onion.
Best of all, on Thursdays there is fresh roast turkey, with real, lumpy mashed potatoes. Not with rice; certainly not with kim chee.
Where: 605 Kapiolani Boulevard, third floor
Hours: 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday to Friday and 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Saturdays
Prices: Less than $6 for breakfast or lunch; less than $10 per person for dinner
Call: 525-8641; fax 525-6788
To recommend a restaurant, write: The Weekly Eater, P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, Hawaii 96802. Or send e-mail to features@starbulletin.com- excellent;