Nine career women - each the parent of a young child, at the top of her field or the owner of her own business - met over an impromptu brown-bag lunch to discuss a bonafide head-scratcher: Why aren't Mothers of the Year employed outside the home?
Mrs. Shumway, who sounds like a very nice lady, has one answer. She told an Advertiser reporter that motherhood is like being a gardener. "You can take care of the plants, you nurture them, protect them from harm," she explained. "And that is difficult to do if you are not there in the garden."
Cute analogy. Now consider this ugly reality: How can you afford a paltry patch of dirt in an over-priced state unless both men and women work? It's tough, sister.
And rare. The male breadwinner/housewife archetype is about as common as a Republican in the state Senate.
It's risky, too. What would have happened to Harriet without Ozzie? Could June Cleaver have supported the boys if Ward had said aloha?
Die-hard traditionalists point out that it's troublemaker wimmin's libbers who have led to society's demise. Divorces are too easy to get. Husbands and wives aren't working out their problems "for the kids." The end of civilization is near!
Nah. Don't give feminists that much credit.
In the past, when only the man nabbed the paycheck, a relationship's balance tilted his way. When the woman started earning a salary, the scales began to level. These days, some females are heavyweights in their own right.
They still, however, deal with guilt, stress, anxiety and fear because they are sometimes forced to choose between two roles they love: mother of minor-aged child and matriarch of the office.
Dr. Kanthi De Alwis pursued pathology over obstetrics/gynecology to spend more time with her two sons. She now expertly conducts autopsies as the City and County of Honolulu's first deputy medical examiner.
Entrepreneurs like Janis Koh and Lynette Lo Tom not only work for a business, they are the business. Try explaining that to kids who want to go to the zoo on Wednesday.
Then there are mothers like Nanci Kreidman of the Domestic Violence Clearinghouse and Legal Hotline, Assistant U.S. Attorney Loretta Matsunaga and KGMB-9 anchorwoman Jade Moon, whose crazy schedules are made saner by supportive husbands.
Here's the ultimate: The husband of Donna Ribellia-Abreu, the Big Mac-ette of McDonald's Restaurants of Hawaii, gave up his job to become a real-life Mr. Mom in Mililani.
DURING their hour-long lunch, nine professional women talked about the joys and jolts of the redundancy called working motherhood. It was a bonding experience punctuated by nodding heads, supportive laughter and understanding smiles.
When time came to return to their offices, they promised to meet monthly and pondered over a name for their newborn group. "Over Achieving Moms" sounded apologetic. Nobody liked the acronym for "Busy Mommies." Finally, it was unanimous: "The Garden Party." With all due respect to the 1996 Mother of the Year, it somehow seemed appropriate.