Extra Point
By Mike Fitzgerald
Monday, April 29, 1996
Did the Rainbows get a salute from their new head coach? Applause? High fives?
Nope. VonAppen yawned - on purpose. You know, one of those exaggerated hand-over-the-mouth yawns.
The "West Coast offense" had gone south for the second straight scrimmage and vonAppen let the boys know that he wasn't exactly thrilled by the misadventures of the first unit.
Of course, this is from a man who was wearing a jacket at high noon on Saturday, when the temperature on the artificial turf had to be pushing the century mark.
I guess he is still thawing out from his stint at Colorado - or hoping for heat stroke and an early exit from the scene of the football crimes.
The biggest problem was that the UH receivers, thought to be a strong point for the upcoming season, were imitating Roberto Duran all morning: Hands of Stone.
At one point, normally mellow offensive coordinator Guy Benjamin addressed the first-team pass-droppers in language that is usually reserved for Pier 21.
Yes, it was enough to make a Stanford egghead/coach say some naughty things.
But let's do what we do best: spread the blame around.
Johnny Macon and Glenn Freitas weren't Beavis and Butthead, but their respective performances didn't conjure up visions of Montana and Marino, either.
If there was some humane way to combine the skills of the two into one quarterback, it would make the upcoming decision on the starter this fall much easier.
Freitas seems to have taken the lead in the UH quarterback derby, but only by a neck or so - and the stretch run is still several furlongs away.
The offensive linemen are also learning some completely new dance steps and the running backs are thinner than Manute Bol.
To summarize: The quarterbacks, receivers, running backs and offensive linemen are struggling.
SO why are these new coaches still smiling - when they're not swearing or yawning?
Because the calendar tells us it is April, not September.
Usually the biggest accomplishment of spring football is to get a star player or two knocked out for the entire season.
But this time, each day is exceptionally important, because players who were recruited to run the old offense - talk about yawning - are taking a cram course in a more exciting version.
Whether the point production will increase in proportion won't be answered until the fall.
There was a bright side, though, on the sunny spring morn.
The UH defensemen were knocking dudes down like bowling pins. Yes, even the secondary appears improved. (Stop that giggling in the back row.)
Doe Henderson, in particular, had several big pops.
But football sense tells us that the defense should be ahead of the offense at this point, especially when the Xs and Os have been altered more dramatically for the guys with the ball.
You can't blame vonAppen and his crew for wondering what the heck they have gotten themselves into. The team is small and the athleticism sparse.
Yet, there is certainly no lack of spirit from the born-again players and the strange, but knowledgeable coaching staff.
Old-fashioned hustle and discipline are the orders of each practice day from General vonAppen and his lieutenants.
The direction that this year's team will take when they tee it up in the fall is still unpredictable.
But at least the Rainbows are marching to a different tune.