"I'm a real movie fanatic, no, a movie fan, no, make that a movie buff," she said. "It's a passion. I like being edified at the end, watching an actor's abilities become manifest."

Oh. We didn't ask her about Mel Gibson's butt. There's manifest talent, and then there's simply a rear view.

She wins movie passes, plus this lovely Oscar Boy trophy, designed by the Star-Bulletin Big-Time Awards Action Team and assembled by the good people at Trophy House though, to be honest, they were somewhat dubious about our choice of components.

Catanzariti saw all of the nominees this year except for "Il Postino." "But I read a lot about it," says she.

The Oscar Boy contest called for inventing your own category for the Best Picture nominees. And Catanzariti's winning entries this year were:

"Sense and Sensibility," for Best Breakdown Reaction in a Requited Love Scene After Two Hours of Total Victorian Repression.

"Apollo 13," for Best Showing of What You Can Do at Home When You Have the Measles.

"Babe," for Best Use of a Health Care Reform-Era Cure for What Ails You: The Irish Jig.

"Il Postino," for Best Illustration of Why the Mail System Developed the Stand-And-Deliver Mail Truck.

"Braveheart," for Best Use of a Decoy Pre-Modernist Military Strategy: Be a Sitting Duck and Carry a Spear.

Carol Catanzariti picked up the BIG prize. Photo by Dennis Oda, Star-Bulletin